A Measure of Transience
by fyrewoode
Summary: A OC contractor goes to Atlantis to photograph the city/crew and some of the Pegasus for future release. She forms her own perceptions of things from the 'bottom'. Minor char dynamic examination. Somewhat of a SG-1 cross-over. Shep/Teyla, lil McKay/Keller
1. A Measure of Transience

First ever fan-fic. I love the Stargate universe. Testing out my writing style, looking for constructive critiques. Lemme kno if it's utterly predictable and boring. I finished it before posting it. I can't bear waiting for the next chapter to be posted and if I tried to stretch it out, I'd forget to post. I love the show and the characters so I'm extremely faithful to their representation by the writers.

Stargate belongs to MGM and their affiliates. OC belongs to me.

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Ch. 1

Lennah Colare. Photographer.

Well, that's what her business cards say. That's all her clients needed to know.

The government was another story. An invitation to apply for a top secret job meant hours under the microscope in addition to the probable surveillance over the last few months.

"I love my job," she whispered to herself as she looked up at that huge vault door. _Just not today_. A chill passed over her as she slipped into the shadow of the mountain.

Cheyenne Mountain Complex, the roach motel of political finks trying to delay the hereafter. Not her ideal shoot but military invitations were orders, not requests. Being the daughter of a decorated war veteran taught her that much. And, tequila and smokes don't mix well in the human body.

The elevator ride was a long way down to floor twenty-seven and Lennah had to force herself not to think of the tons of earth under the few inches of metal. She'd had the same problem with a deep-sea habitat in the Atlantic. Heights were magnificent. Depths were not. The thought of the constant pressure focused on the compaction of the human body wasn't pleasant.

She managed a relieved smile at the lift operator when the doors opened. She was not watching where she was going and ran into something solid that muttered. Lennah turned to look up at Dr. Jackson as he pressed a button on the panel, scruffy and absolutely charming.

He smiled at her as he leaned against the back of the lift.

"Dr. Jackson." She smiled back, slightly dazed. "Hi." _Last place I expected to see you._

"Hi," he replied as the doors began closing. "Um, Bye?"

"Bye!" she called, too late to stop the lift doors. Lennah considered the irony of the doctor's presence in an underground facility meant for preserving the world's _best_ and _brightest, _i.e. rich. That man's book sold five copies. He didn't qualify for any of the above. _Cute, though_.

The conference room was already in full reveille. Stuffy suits on the other end of a long table cycled away files on the last interviewees. Aides shuffled in and out with coffee and stacks of paper, barely dodging one another in their nervous frenzy. A shuttered window took up the wall on her left. _I wonder what's behind door number one._

"Ms. Colare," one man called, saying 'col-LAIR' instead of 'COL-ar-eh'. But he should be pitied. Here was a thin, pale looking man. His expression was pinched like he constantly suffered from gas or constipation. A pencil neck if ever there was one.

Lennah simply smiled and nodded at the others present. Two men and a woman, all looking extremely bored. They only spoke when the pencil neck failed to communicate adequately.

"Are we given to understand that you have worked with the military before?" The pencil neck. No introductions yet.

"Yes."

"..." He looked up at her for a moment, implying she should continue.

"What was this particular occasion?" another interviewer prompted. She chanced an irritated look at the pencil neck. Clearly he was in charge and exploitative.

"That depends." Lennah chuckled uncomfortably as one does in such circumstances. She certainly didn't want to talk about _that_ anyway. Her father had finagled her into a military op. He didn't believe in career that couldn't be jump started by 'The Service' and he took out his frustrations liberally.

The man rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "I think it's safe to assume that, as we know about it, we have the clearance to... well, ...know about it."

Lennah paused. "Not really." _If you had clearance you'd have the file and not need to ask me._

She smiled, nonplussed, at the aggravated look.

"Oh, Woolsey, you... You." A new voice said from the open door... Lennah turned to see General Jack O'Neill coolly enter the room. Lennah knew him only from the pictures in her father's den and the old man's stories of 'Jack' but she felt as though she were meeting a childhood hero she just found out was real. "She's not going to breach security. She's smarter than that."

"Sir..." Lennah nodded to him. Here was a man she could respect. A strong leader who continuously stuck it to the man. Good sense of humor. Handsome to top it all off. _Nice piece of pie._

"Colare." He responded in like as he looked her over. _Probably seeing my father in me... yeah, probably._

"General O'Neill." The interrogator was out of his seat now and calling to his errant dog. "You are not a part of this interview."

_Jack_ just stuck his hands in his pockets. _I won't touch anything just let me play._ Lennah could only smile. "Oh, I am most thankful for that, Woolsey, so glad you could do without me on this one. It's just I'm here to have lunch with Ms. Colare and as your last…" Jack exaggerated looking at his watch, aggravating Woolsey. "HUNDRED or so interviewees, all took a grand total of three hours each, I figured I'd clock you."

Jack and Woolsey stared each other down for a moment. Woolsey caved. Jack took up a seat to wait.

Woolsey put down his pen and leaned back in his chair. "Well, Ms. Colare why don't _you_ tell _me _what all is required for this job."

Lennah answered intentionally textbook.

"You want someone who can disappear. Unattached. Won't be missed. Absolute discretion. Get the job done efficiently. Follow orders. Someone who goes by the... book..."

And then it hit her. Dr. Daniel Jackson. She only knew about his book from the X-files forums.

Woolsey smirked and steepled his fingers. Yet another had caved to his interrogation techniques.

"Huh," she said to herself. "My God."

"What?" Woolsey eyed her closely, wondering. He inspected her file and shot a smug look to a fellow interviewer who was not so impressed.

"Nothing." Lennah smiled breezily. "Nothing at all."

Lennah felt the interview crawl, surviving like she'd just faced finals week. The cafeteria was a noisy relief for once. Who knew entering the atmosphere of an established hierarchy, that more often compared to a pack of wild dogs, could ever be so comforting. Here, it wasn't so much about who ate first or with whom. There was an air of easy comfort that went along with sedated conversation spotted with widespread laughter. One didn't have a conversation with only one's crowd, but with all people within earshot.

Jack was nice. He kept her coffee cup full and they talked like old friends. She was surprised to find herself so open with a stranger, but he was her father's friend. Lennah loved talking about her father this way. Mom and her brothers didn't want to be reminded so soon after...

"You should go." Jack said, breaking her reverie.

"Huh?" she looked at her watch. _Is it really that late?_

"I mean..." he paused, his tone was commanding. "When they offer you the position. You take it. Without a second thought."

His look was so intense Lennah looked down and picked at her potatoes.

"I know you have a thousand questions. We all do in the beginning. Don't let fear hold you back from _this_." He picked something out of his coffee, irritated or embarrassed by his conviction. "You won't regret it."

She considered him. There was sincerity in his eyes that she appreciated, as though they were constantly laughing.

Lennah nodded. "Okay." She sighed, groaning internally at her weakness. "I'll get everything ready."

_Oh, God... how am I going to explain this to Mom? I can't actually tell her a guy convinced me, she'll start sending out wedding invitations._

When Lennah got home, she reviewed the doctor's book again. Crazy stuff. It was thoughtless of him to publish something like this. And yet... He was happy at Cheyenne. He looked healthy, better than, and confident. Not at all underfed or downtrodden. There was now a competence, even assurance, around him. As though he cavalierly challenged the world to hurl anything at him, knowing he was impervious to ridicule.

But was it _really possible_? She looked again. Landing pads. _That's just ludicrous!_

She flopped down in her bed and pulled the covers around her.

_Did you trust O'Neill?_ She'd asked Dad once. She was ten and he'd been retelling some story for the hundredth time.

_With my life. _He smiled. _Maybe even with yours one day._

"I guess it's today, Dad." She said as she drifted off to sleep.

She called Mom first thing in the morning. Tried to explain as best she could. But, finally settled for the best card in her hand. She cringed as she said it though her stern voice did not convey it.

"I'm coming to visit." There was shocked silence on the other end. "I'll be there tomorrow."


	2. Identification in Perception

"How you view something, greatly depends on all that has come before, self-perception, and, over all, a massive miscommunication." -forgot who said it, paraphrased.

---

Chapter 2:

Lennah was overall unassuming. She was completely unremarkable until you started asking questions, at which point, she became quite dull. She was bright and to the point in her sparse conversation. Lennah had mastered the art of small talk and was able to hold long conversations that revealed nothing about herself. To all appearance, she was nothing more than a corn fed farm girl who'd spent too much time in a coffee house. She had grandiose coffee culture dreams, like a national geographic cover.

It was only upon closer inspection that one might think otherwise. Few people truly push at the façade that all throw up to avoid others. Familiarity passes to a cursory glance and an occasional nod. If anyone had more closely examined Lennah Colare, they might have seen past 'average'. She tended to sneak up on people, completely on accident. If anyone had endeavored to join her, they might have seen one of her daily workouts which was part dance, part choreographed fight. In truth, she was passably competent in both.

Her father was a soldier who loved the military and ran his house as such. Her mother was a drama teacher who valued spontaneous creativity as much as perfected art. Gymnastics and karate were mandatory when she was growing up. By nine she was a brown belt, trained more by Marines than by sensei. By eleven, she was sneaking out of her second floor window with the ease of a cat burglar. Then she entered her art stage and branched out into different disciplines. She did some stage performances as a stunt double for 'Peter Pan' productions. The idea of a ballerina flying off balconies and spider climbing the walls of the studio kept her from being more than an understudy. Gymnasts were equally freaked out when she stopped coming down. The coach found her hiding in the rafters like a bat when she didn't want to workout.

They'd drive her home early and suggest she go see a therapist. An obsession with heights like Lennah's often led to the idea that flying through the air on a mat actually meant they could fly. It was rare for a gymnast--trained in the ultimate mastery of their bodies, coupled with the teenage rebellion of drugs--to test their wings by jumping off a ledge. Lennah often did.

So Mom bought her a camera. Lennah became the spiderman of yearbook clubs. Some of her pictures ended up in local papers though she couldn't explain why she'd been on the roof.

It was by watching other people this way that she learned social skills. She learned how to blend in where her weirdness made her stand out. Lesson one: Feign disinterest to the point of a coma. This presented a whole other set of problems but an entirely normal one. Skipping class was 'escape and evade', torturing the over weight vice-principal by making him run after three different slackers.

One day, someone caught her slip down the side of a building to lean, nonchalantly, against the wall behind a vending machine. She made the girls buying snacks think she'd been there the whole time. She blended in, the vice-principal fervently scanned the rest of the courtyard. The single witness stared at the Invisible that just dropped into sight.

He was a line backer on the Varsity football team. Ex-Invisible, himself, he'd used his excess weight to gain a position in the spotlight. Marc and Lennah got on great junior year. He convinced her to show up the cheerleader's halftime show with some flybys. It backfired and they tried to make her the mascot. The pair contented themselves with plotting various pranks on the teaching staff. Lennah learned the value of planting information. By the end of the year, half the staff thought they had secret admirers of their colleagues. There were two subsequent marriages that summer. One unrelated divorce.

Marc was infatuated and she was enamoured with her first romance. But as that summer passed on, Marc grew more attractive to other females. Lennah was left as an Invisible again. A forgotten crush by the time senior year started.

In revenge, Lennah had run a disinformation campaign. A dropped paper here, a hidden note there, and an easy email hack and this girl thought that one was sleeping around with her man.

Lennah couldn't have been more relieved that graduation came. She'd bounced off the stage and was enveloped in vapor. The crowd though it was a great prank and excellent use of a smoke pellet but they still wouldn't remember her name.

Later that month, Lennah watched from afar as Marc packed up his truck with his new buddies and headed off to college. An hour later, she ran across a crosswalk as they slowed at an intersection. They hadn't intended to stop. Lennah tumbled onto the hood. She looked through the windshield at Marc. He stared back, finally remembering who she was. She sprung up and off the truck an instant later, feeling stupid.

Who knows if he ever figured out Lennah was the source behind all his girl trouble. She still regretted the vendetta.

Lennah only had two years of community college when her father died of lung cancer. Or was it liver failure? They found him parked out by the lake behind the wheel of his beat up truck, a bottle in one hand and a ghostly smile on his face. The cigarette glowed in the ash tray, freshly lit.

_Stinking tramp. _Lennah thought to herself the day of the funeral. _Finally went someplace we couldn't follow him._

Mom and her brothers were emotionally crippled by the loss. Lennah hardly darkened the doorstep after that. It was time for her to get moving anyway. She pared down and moved out.

It took her no more than five hours of good hard work to pack her one bedroom apartment and clear her head. Lennah had been by her self in the city on a month-to-month lease. Life as a freelance photographer meant uncertainty. She had to try. Mom needed the money with Dad gone. They'd barely hung on to the farm as it was. She rented a storage locker and jumped in her car for the six-hour drive to the family farm. A pleasant drive, a modest distance to keep.

"I'm serious about this, Ma." She said when she had a cup of tea in her hands. "_Jack! Jack O'Neill!_ Was serious!"

"I understand." She sighed. "I just keep thinking he's one of your father's friends. All the fishing and carousing at late night hours."

Lennah smiled and snatched another piece of unguarded sausage. "I miss them, too."

Ma shot her a dirty look and rolled her eyes.

"Muddy boots on your coffee table. Beer bottles hidden in your daisies." Lennah goaded her until she laughed.

"You take after him so much," she sighed. There were tears in her eyes and not from laughing.

"That's why I need to go."

That night she spent on the front porch watching the stars. Mom heard the swing and came to see. She watched her daughter gaping up at the stars as if she'd never seen them. She understood what her daughter had tried to tell her.

She was called back to Cheyenne for final tests and immunizations. She signed the nondisclosure agreement with Woolsey as witness. He took great pleasure in hitting the button that raised the blast door.

And then, there it was. Whatever it was.

She was given a tomb of paper to read and a few videos to watch.

"Huh," was all that she could say. She didn't understand the 'how' just yet but she had already spent time coming to terms with the 'what'. Woolsey found this disappointing.

Jack came in to visit her and he was surprised by the calm on her face.

She chuckled. "How long for you?"

"Twelve years. About. Now."

"And with that?"

"Everyday, seemed like." He looked out the window and saw a team gearing up to head out. "God, I miss it."

Lennah stood beside him and watched as the Stargate moved like a turn dial phone. Jack watched her face as the unstable vortex lit. Her eyes bugged and she covered her mouth as it swung agape.

"So you think you made the right decision?" He toyed with her.

She slowly nodded her head without looking at him. The gate closed and Lennah was jerked back to reality. She looked up at the General and shrugged. "Thanks for the help there, by the way."

Jack nodded and rested a hand on her shoulder. Lennah wondered just how much O'Neill knew about how badly she needed this job.

"Well," he said, rubbing his hands together. "I know you've got a lot of reading to do so I'll make this quick... ish."

Lennah leaned against the window ledge as Jack poked at a few of the stacks of paper. Pamphlets fell as he leaned on the table. He disregarded them.

"You aren't going to be doing anything too mundane, like... fungus portraits. But, more importantly, you're going there to capture the... aesthetics of Atlantis."

Lennah gaped. "What?" She finally had that look people get when they find out how big their universe is.

"Atlantis." He said with a smile. "Nice place. Lots of water."

"Huh."

"You are going to be making the brochure." He concluded. His eyes darted to the side before he looked back at her. "For posterity."

"For when it goes public." She corrected redundantly.

"Exactly." Jack smiled. He had some bad experiences with media types in the past but he had high hopes for this one. "Just keep that shutter clicking around anything you may find interesting. Luncheons... Birthdays... Office parties."

Lennah nodded. "Good times. Bad jokes. Huh?"

Jack just smiled. "Oh, yeah, sure. You becha." Lennah realized just how brilliant Jack's smile was.

"You really think they'll need me there?"

"Ms. Colare, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She nodded understandingly and they stood in a nice silence for a while.

"So, Atlantis..."

"Pegasus Galaxy. Heard of it?"

Lennah's eyebrows rose. _Shoulda figured. _ "And this thing can do that?"

Jack's answer was evasive. "Now and then."

"But I'm not--"

"No."

"Oh." Her face fell a bit. "So how--?"

"Intergalactic Spacebridge." Jack waved a finger with the words.

"Huh." She had a hard time meeting Jack's smile.

Lennah had a lot to learn about the universe.


	3. Slipping into Blank Past

During Tabula Rasa: one year + later.

-----

Chapter 3

She woke with a start. Water splashed as she reeled.

_What was that!?!_

A look around showed her a bathroom. No monsters. No debris from the blast that had woken her. She'd dreamed it.

But still, an unshakable sense of foreboding remained. _How long have I been in here?_ The fingers on the ends of her hands were pruned and black tentacles clung to her face. She rose out of the tub carefully, arms out to fight the dizziness.

_What's wrong with me?_ Goosebumps rose.

Sight faded to black as blood rushed to her head. She leaned against the wall for a moment to steady herself. Her sight cleared and she was able to explore some more. A few steps took her past a visage, she jumped with a yelp.

It was only her reflection.

_Is that really me?_

She waved her hands to further convince herself. Curly black hair dripped on the floor. Her eyes were dark and emphasized by dramatically large eyebrows. She was unremarkable. Her flushed face was nicely round but, at present, stern and displeased. Her arms and legs were too muscular.

And her feet.

Her feet were extraordinarily gnarled and rough looking. The hands were the same way, calloused from use. _Why don't I remember?!_ Her shallow breathing became frenzied and she slumped against the wall for a moment.

_What was I doing?_

She looked around and saw the clothes peeking out from the messy closet. The door slid open and a wardrobe presented itself. She picked at hazard and dressed quickly in the drafty room. The clothes were mostly the same color, anyway.

_Am I forgetting something?_ She looked over at the mirror and considered. She wore black long sleeve shirt and baggy pants. The clothes fit nicely but something was missing. A necklace? A bag? This required further exploration.

First. _Who's room is this?_

Small room. One messy desk. No chair. One dresser. One bed. One lamp. Stacks of books here and there. Not much else.

The books were reference of some kind or other: photography, sketching and that sort. The greatest part of the papers on the desktop were sketches of various people she didn't recognize. The rest was paperwork filled out by hand. The signature was a plain-faced type. She picked up a pen and wrote the name on a scrap of paper. _Lennah Colare._ The two matched. _So this is my room? Why don't I remember?_

She ran her fingers over the graphite drawings and reached for some memory of drawing them. A handsome gentleman with crazy hair. A concerned looking man staring in frustration at a computer. A lovely lady with short curly hair and a commanding tilt to her head.

There were notes on every surface of the desk. Appointment reminders. Deadlines. A few personal quotes or motivational tidbit.

"_Keep shooting. See everything."_

_What does that mean?_ She picked up a camera and turned it over and over in her hands. This one was large and bulky but otherwise in perfect condition. There was another, smaller grey digital camera that was rather beat up but still operational. She slipped her hand through the strap and waited.

_Was that what was missing?_

She still felt vacant. The memory card was almost full of various candids, some of the people she'd drawn.

_Freeze._

There was someone in the hall. Four someones.

_Lennah, don't be scared._ But telling herself what to do wasn't very effective. The four walked quickly and loudly. Sure of themselves and solid in purpose. But who or what she couldn't tell from just the sound. She waited until it faded and opened the door.

No one was in the hallway. On silent feet she moved in the direction of the people that had just passed by. It was easy enough to follow the _soldiers_.

_Soldiers! Why am I following them!? _She thought. _This place is huge! I could get lost or something._

Lennah shrunk into a shadowed alcove and thought for a moment.

_What if they're hostiles? Then what would I do? _She almost smacked her forehead. _Good job, chickadee. Now what?_

She drew a deep breath and continued her pursuit. Plan was to follow them to more people, hopefully civilians, blend in and figure out what was going on.

There was a small man around the next corner.

_How do I know that?_ She asked herself as she flattened against the wall. _Instinct. Follow it._

So, fight or flight? She considered for a moment. Whoever it was started talking to themselves.

Fight.

"I know you're there." He called out.

_Flight?_

Bluff. "Heard you too." She replied. "You're pretty stupid for a soldier."

"Don't lie to me, I know you're one of them." He had an accent.

Lennah laughed to herself. He didn't sound very convinced. "Well, honestly, I don't know if I'm one of them." She clenched her jaw hoping that she wasn't giving too much away.

"You don't remember?" he called to her, surprised and confused.

"No." She sighed. "You?" Lennah moved over to the other side of the hallway trying to see him.

"Nothing, really." He sounded resigned. "But that doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"Me either!" She could have smacked herself for sounding like a child.

But, apparently, the slip had given the little man the courage to face her as he came around the corner. Not enough to lower the pipe he was wielding. But still.

"No, you don't look like one of them." He watched her carefully. She didn't carry herself like a soldier but there was something about the way she moved that seemed wrong.

"Uh, I'll say I'm the Easter Bunny if you ease off with that pipe, buddy." Lennah discerned that it had been used effectively. Recently.

"Oh," he started. "Sorry." He was a small man as she'd known. Glasses and a plush physique said 'scholar' and the accent she couldn't place. He looked her over still. Wary.

"No worries." She tucked her bangs behind her ear uneasily. "Those brutes make me uncomfortable too."

"We should probably get out of the hallway."

"What do you remember?" she asked quickly, stalling for time as she assessed the short man's threat level.

"Nothing." He replied impatiently.

"I mean how far back do you remember? An hour? A few minutes?" She considered that herself, wondering if she remembered everything since getting out of the tub. But how do you know if you can't remember something if you can't remember?

"Oh," he paused. "Uh, the soldiers are bad." He shrugged. "I know they'll take you away if they catch you."

"Where do they take you?"

"I don't know and I don't want to find out." He motioned to a branching hallway.

"Go ahead," she rubbed the back of her neck. "I want to look around some more."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well, okay, then. Good luck to you, milý." With a few backward glances he darted down the next hallway and out of sight.

She followed the hallway for a while and backtracked, checking around corners to see if she was being tailed by any more soldiers.

A cold weight settled in her stomach.

_Move fast._ A calm voice ordered.

Lennah was silent as she scaled the narrow hallway walls like a spider retracting its thread.

Soldiers came in to sight at the corner she'd just turned. They looked tired and strained. They were fevered just like she was.

_So we're all sick._ She was a little less frightened of them. _How much do they remember?_ Lennah watched them closely as they stopped right beneath her.

"Reyes, can you confirm visual?" the blonde said into his radio.

"Negative, Maj. Lorne. Target should still be down that hallway." Came the reply.

"No visual." He paused for a moment. "I guess we need to up the dose."

_Dose?_

"Yes, sir. Rendezvous in fifteen."

_So they were on meds._ Lennah kept absolutely still until the tromp of their boots was a memory. _Follow the soldiers then._

The med lab was a wreck. It took her a moment to find the aspirin in the mess. She felt better just holding the near empty bottle.

_Thank God._ She sighed. _Now what?_ She moved hesitantly about the nearby area, lost and directionless.

Suddenly the hallway opened up into a grand room and a huge metal ring.

"Wow." She snapped a picture. Lennah moved closer to the alien object and ran her fingers over it.

_Ancient. _Flashes of blue lights and grey, she blinked. She could taste the foreign metal in her mouth. Withdrawing her hand she looked up at the device. _Do I belong here?_

Lennah looked about the room, unsure of herself. Symbols were engrained in the steps before her. _What does that say?_

She held up her camera and snapped a picture of it, the flash not even dazing her.

But someone else jerked at the sight of it. They moved quickly on quiet feet. He was tired and took a deep breath in the stillness.

Lennah froze for an instant, realizing her peril, and broke into a run.

Stairs. Corner. Hallway. The boots were there behind her. Drawing closer and closer.

_Don't get caught._ She dropped around a corner and slid behind some structure.

Lennah couldn't breath no matter how desperate for air she was. Her lungs burned and her heart raced.

They came bursting around the corner, as out of breathe as she was.

"Fan out." Lorne ordered. "She can't be far."

Lennah drew her knees into her chest and _felt_ the room. They moved slowly. Not just cautiously but dragging their feet.

"Sir, we've got a problem." A voice sounded over the radio.

"Go ahead."

"We have a Jumper incoming. Ten minutes out."

"What?!"

"They just appeared."

"Have they said anything?"

"Nothing, sir. Should I hail them?"

"No. Keep quiet. We'll surprise them when they land. Have Reyes meet us at the Jumper bay."

"They're already there, sir." The radio went quiet.

Lennah wanted to jump up in the sudden silence and run for it but she held her ground.

"We don't want to hurt you." Lorne called.

A marine stepped to his right and caught sight of her foot behind the pillar.

"There!" He called.

Lennah rolled to her feet, landing a donkey kick. The soldier bounced against a wall. She spun to the floor again as he came at her. A beam of light flew over her head. The first slumped over.

The next reached for her arm. She grabbed, twisted, flipped with him. She landed on his stomach and he lay breathless.

Lennah danced into jinga negativa as the two remaining fired. She rose into a cartwheel that landed her next to one. Lennah pushed his center of gravity until they both balanced on one leg and his arms were locked behind his back. He looked helplessly at his CO.

She held him between herself and Lorne.

Lennah breathed easier. This was the missing piece. This was part of who she was.

"It doesn't have to be like this." She said calmly. The winded one was rising.

"Oh, I think that it does." Lorne replied from behind his weapon. "You are a danger to me and my men." He fired. The blast hit the tangled two. Lennah tasted burnt air and felt the pain of the shock. It dissipated between the combined mass.

She placed her raised leg on the marine's back and kicked him into his CO. She threw into a flip that took her out the door. Jinga out of the doorway.

Running again. Three were behind her. Left. Right. Stairs. She was loosing them.

_Big room._ Lennah looked up as she slid to a stop. _The roof is opening._

_HIDE!!!_

From inside a Jumper, she watched what unfolded. It was tense and she could only read a little. She could see the messy haired man from her drawings. He wasn't comical at the moment. _What's in those bags?_

"Just look in your vest pocket!" She heard from the big one. Lennah cringed in fear.

_Angry man._ She thought spitefully. He seemed feral in obvious ways: leather and bone with long Rasta dreads. But more, he was sure of himself in a way that no one else was._ He's not sick._

The conflict resolved, the group moved to the exit and Lennah slunk to the floor.

_Those two are important...somehow. Now that they're here... things should get better._ Lennah yawned and her eyes fluttered. The fever had taken a toll and the adrenaline left her drained. _Just a little nap._ She closed the bay door and laid down with an emergency blanket.

In moments, Lennah was in a fitful sleep made heavy by the illness. She was sealed in a space faring vessel that had minimal air exchange when powered down.

Around the city, people fell asleep as air blew until only two were left awake.

After Teyla and Ronon looked over the city life signs detectors, they set out to bring the scattered dots together with the rest. One by one they gathered them up until they came across Lennah's sealed Jumper. Some hours had passed and few were beginning to wake. Fortunately, one was a mid-level tech who knew how to open the door from the outside.

"Who is this?" Teyla asked when the door opened. "I do not recognize her."

"Some photographer." Ronon replied, scooping her up. "Nobody knows."

"Well, it will take some time for their memories to return." Teyla watched her face as the young woman was placed on a gurney.

"No." Ronon shook his head. "I seen her around before. Nobody knows who she is."

****

So um... shameless plug... deviantart dot com/art/Standing-in-the-Shining-Sun-76712612

This was from an earlier version of the story. She faced different obstacles that I deemed as 'a bit much' but she still looks the same. Wary eyes.


	4. Reassessment

Chapter 4

Lennah Colare lay on a cot in the cafeteria. Some moved around, nurses and the recovered, while others lay still.

An irrelevant memory floated to the surface of thought. _The morning after Kelsey's 12__th__ birthday party. Half the girls woke up with stomachaches from too much cake and soda. It had looked like this._

She blinked and rolled onto her back. Staring at the ceiling, more memories played before her eyes. She held the covers closer.

_Dad..._

"Can I get you another blanket?" Dr. Keller smiled down at her, looking careworn. "We have extras now."

Lennah nodded and Keller tucked the blankets around her feet.

_Mom._ Lennah closed her eyes again and focused on her breathing. _What am I doing here? I've been here a year, now._

Wanderlust. That's what Dad called it. The shrinks called it PTSD. After the war, Dad kept working for the military. He didn't have to take new positions. He could have kept them in one spot forever. But he got bored. So they moved again. And again. Now, there was an itch in her bones to leave everything and move on.

_Vagabond._ Gramma was always snide with Dad. She left us the farm to spite him.

Lennah had spent one summer there when Gramma was still alive. It had acreage then. The humid Louisiana heat shimmered as she lay on the barn roof or sleeping under fragrant Magnolias in a hammok. She spent the whole stifling summer exploring the place or reading.

It was winter when she went back. It was cloudy and cold all the time. She tried to find her old spots but they were plowed under. Long gone.

_Nothing is ever as good the second time 'round._ Dad smiled at her from behind the wheel of the fifty year old truck that came with the farm. _New experiences. New things to see._

Lennah had nodded and licked her melting ice cream as she was jostled.

_That's what we need. _He kept talking as the truck bucked and tilted. _You and me, we're same way. You read some new book every five minutes and I get a new job. It's in our blood. Humans, all still animals. Apes with cell phones. No amount of years can break that desire to pack up and see what's over the next rise._

Her breath caught. _I miss you, old man. _

_But all that's gone, now._ He looked out the window so his daughter couldn't see his hollow look. She saw him in the side mirror. He was old now. His body knew it. Feeling this soft meant his heart knew it to. _Too many people here on this teensy little planet. Screwed it up good, too._

He looked back over at his daughter. His eyes shone as he smiled. _All we have left is the stars._

Lennah woke with a jerk, still in the Mess. She felt better now and sat up. Few people were still around. Tables were laid back out. Lennah sat for a moment, groggy.

"...Almost broke his wrist..." someone was saying. "I don't know what to say to him."

"Well you can say you're sorry." Came the level headed reply. "We were all...out there. You can't help that. You were just doing your job."

Lennah looked up to see Sheppard and Lorne sitting a few tables over. Sheppard's hand was on Lorne's bowed shoulder.

"I just let things get out of hand." He sighed sadly and wiped his mouth in distress.

"I understand. But _you_ didn't shoot anyone. _I_ did." Sheppard smirked.

"That's not the same—"

"Yes." Sheppard straightened. "It is."

Lennah watched in appreciation as the Colonel smiled at Lorne, who slowly came around. She smiled to herself and stood to fold the blankets.

"Well, good morning." Sheppard called to her. Lennah looked over her shoulder with a tired smile. "Have a good nap?"

"No." She replied playfully. "Had a good coma."

"You did wear yourself out." Lorne put in. He crossed his arms and considered her. "You put up a good fight."

Lennah avoided their invasive stares. "Yeah, well..."

"Hey, I know you." Sheppard looked like he was thinking really, really hard. "You're that one girl."

_Shut up... Sir._ She thought at him.

"Who?" Lorne was asking. He looked at Lennah, considering.

Sheppard weighed his answer. "That one girl... the photographer who follows us around with the bazooka camera."

Lorne nodded and looked back at her. "Hey, where'd you learn to fight, by the way? What kind of fighting style was that? I think I saw it in a movie once. Catwoman?"

"Capoeira." Lennah nodded. "More of a martial arts dance, really. Brazilian. African."

"We'll have to see about a round two." Lorne smiled, teasing her. "Jury's still out on round one."

Lennah replied with a tightlipped smile. "I'll think about that." She nodded. "Right now I probably should go check the roster for clean-up. Get back on track, ya know."

"Right, right." Sheppard nodded and stood. "I gotta go _post_ the roster for clean-up."

Lennah nodded. "Right, well. See you there." She slipped out of the room and vanished. Sheppard was probably forgetting he'd seen her.

That's how she did her job. People didn't see her. And if they did, they would quickly forget about her. Lennah smiled slyly. That's how she liked it.

It was bad when people saw her. She remembered one instance when she'd first come to Atlantis. A few months had passed and she was still learning the route. She was headed to some cataloguing shoot when a camera happy marine came into view.

Lennah ducked into a side hallway pretending to show interest in the paneling. Last time she'd chanced by this guy, he'd insisted she take thirty shots of him 'going about his day'.

Luckily, he didn't see her and she made sure he was out of sight before coming out of hiding. Turning the corner, she walked right into someone and almost dropped to the floor. Ronon gripped her arms to steady her. His face was menacing. Lennah wanted to shrink into the floor.

"I don't like people sneaking around." He growled angrily at her, almost snarling with rage. His grip hurt and Lennah was truly afraid he meant to harm her.

"O-O-Okay." She said quickly, her eyes were huge as she looked up. She immediately felt like she'd been doing something wrong and started apologizing. "I-I, uh..."

Ronon ignored her rambling, flung her aside, and walked away without another word. _How rude!_ She was both infuriated and humiliated. _What's his problem?_

Lennah was adamant with her disapproval of 'Conan' after that. Even when she learned that he was in a foul mood about being locked in a cage by the Genii. Every Marine that ended up in medical was further proof that he was incapable of controlling his baser instincts.

She watched him spar a couple times. Sometimes the most unbiased way to understand someone. He was taking on two Marines at a time, they tagged in rapid succession.

It was painful to watch. He was vicious to the point of dirty. His attacks were brutal. Unforgiving. Ronon was all anger without remorse.

One of the Marines was elbowed in the face and his nose broke, a river of blood dripping off his chin. He rose with renewed fervor, his anger out weighed his reason. Ronon smiled dangerously. The two seemed to be at the edge of a serious feud when Teyla stepped forward. Her control of the situation wasn't overt. She never said a word to Ronon, just stared.

Ronon looked down. Then he met the eyes of the bleeding Marine, who was starting to cool in the pause. He calmed a bit and nodded imperceptibly to the Marine before leaving. Lennah watched him as he walked with his head down in a petulant way. She never really noticed how young he was, about twenty-five or so. However, his youth didn't lend itself to his redemption in Lennah's eyes. Youth was only the 'acceptable' excuse for violence, selfishness, and spite. Lennah was only twenty-three and she'd never excuse herself for acting that way. Neither would Jack.

Fortunately, it seemed like every female on the base was infatuated with Sheppard. It was easy enough to throw in with them. One morning, Lennah was having breakfast with the ladies' poker society. Their conversation often leaned toward the speculative and dirty. There was even a running pool.

_Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies. -Jane Austen_

"Sheppard hasn't been around." The defensive speaker, the British anthropologist Dr. Price, paused gravely to emphasize her point. "He's a previously enjoyed companion." The table was a riot of laughter.

"I still think that him and Teyla are going to hook up."

"Regardless, him and Dr. Weir is what will be."

Lennah smiled down at her forgotten tray. Price was brilliant.

"Can you imagine what he looks like nekkid? All hairy and manly." Tina was an airy tech, pretty young in the important ways but intelligent enough in others to be a prominent mind. Unfortunately, not in this conversation.

"I can, I prepped him for surgery once." A nurse, Maria, popped in, speaking around a bit of lettuce.

"Spill!"

"No. Patient–Doctor privacy."

"You're not a doctor. You're a nurse!"

"Wow. You've got eyes." Maria was absolutely deadpan.

"What about that one over there?" Price pointed over Lennah's shoulder. "With those pecs, he probably looks like a hermaphrodite."

Lennah looked over to see who was the new topic. Ronon, back to them, sat at the other end of the cafeteria. He was leaning back in his chair and occasionally looked at his watch. She felt her lip curl at the sight of him.

"Keep your kinky alien fantasies to yourself. Puh-lease." Tina was saying with revile. "I'll stick with my species."

Price sent a disgusted look at Tina in the uncomfortable silence that followed.

Lennah, quietly keeping to her veggies, was elbowed. "What about you?" Maria was the culprit.

"What about me?" Lennah looked as lost as possible.

Price smiled and took up the quest. "You're new here. What do you think about that one?"

_New? I've been here for ten months now. _"Don't know him well enough to speculate," was her terse reply.

"Oh, come on." Another egged her on. "You're a photographer. You must see all kinds of stuff."

"I do. Well enough to know that a picture can be misinterpreted by nothing other than the desires of the viewer."

"But, you've got to have desires." Price smirked knowingly. "Or at least theories."

Lennah saw there was no escaping this.

"I might," she looked askance to pique interest. "It's silly, though."

"We're starved for entertainment here, hun. Spill."

Lennah smiled shyly and thanked God for her humorous sense of irony. The picture she created was heavily satirical but delivered with enough conviction to seem believable. If she judged her audience right, they might laugh and dismiss her as naïve.

"He likes to keep to himself, obviously." Lennah looked over at him as he _picked at his food_. The lug never ate but with full concentration and conviction. Lennah often got indigestion just from watching. Not that she watched... of course.

_He's listening..._ she smiled slowly, her mind full of devious thoughts. _This could turn out better than I thought._

"This we KNOW, sweet'art, get to the good stuff."

"Years of running meant that only his thoughts were really his. He guards them well. Too well. His people were pre-Industrial but, from what we've seen of the other Satedans, they are a very passionate people: loud and fond of drink. He reminds me of Jane Austen's Mr. Darcy in some respects: proud, quiet and misunderstood."

_One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty..._ _Again, Austen._

"That's so romantic..." Tina was convinced and disturbed.

"Well, if you thought he was gay, why didn't you just say so?" Price caused another giggle fest. She was clever enough to see through Lennah's act.

Lennah faked offence. "Seven years and he hasn't taken a lover? His people were puritanical to say the least. Our 'free love' offends him, stodgy as he his." Lennah spoke in defense of Ronon's inaction but it was implied otherwise.

"Careful, there. cheeky use of American 'stodgy' lends its self to British definition."

Lennah was smug. "I'm on a no carb diet."

"But thin enough to be in need of a filling meal." Price returned the suggestive smile. Lennah frowned and returned to her greens.

"What are they saying?" Tina smiled, thinking ignorance was cute.

"I think it's bad if you admit you can't understand 'em." Maria blushed. "So I won't." She laughed.

Lennah smiled down the table at the two. The rest of breakfast was uneventful and she was largely left alone. Before excusing herself, Lennah looked up at Ronon, pleased with herself at the twisted insult. He had moved over to the other side of the table. To more easily see the group of girls.

_Poor guy is probably thinking I've complimented him._

Lennah smoldered with victory and sauntered as she left the cafeteria. Sheppard passed her and caught the suggestive smirk. His instinct was to duck but he returned the smile playfully.

Price watched from across the hall as the two shared the look. Lennah continued on her way but Sheppard looked again over his shoulder to watch her go.


	5. The Road Rises Up

Colare gets permission to head out in to the Pegasus with her camera, unobtrusively, to get the best possible view of the people benefited by the SG program. This is her primary function as a contractor for the military.

P.S. I MISS LIZZY!!!! :'(

----

Chapter 5

Finally. Word came down for her to head out into the wilds. At 2505 [Atlantis Time], she would disappear. In case a tact-team should recognize her, only two people knew of her present location any any given time.

The objective was to build contacts that otherwise might be scared off by military force. Lennah was a lone operative whose talents enabled her to move under the radar or in the spotlight. Thank God for high school, right?Most military types considered her contract frivolous that it would yield no results. Her track record spoke otherwise. She was able to move around a community unnoticed because she didn't stink of authority. If she needed to get into a high scale place, she'd go in as entertainment. A few back flips in a skimpy top and she's a side show.

Colare geared up in borrowed Athosian garments and left a note on her door about last minute R&R leave. With a notable skip in her step, she made her way to the darkened gateroom. She input the address and skipped down the stairs, eager to leave. As a last thought, she looked over her shoulder and waved to the empty balcony.

_Maybe I'll run into her out there,_ she smiled hopefully to herself and stepped through the gate. Seconds later, passenger departed, it flashed out of existence and John Sheppard blinked away the after image. He nodded to Carter and excused himself, rubbing at his eye as he left.

_Exhaustion, of course_. Sam considered how many times she'd watched people vanish from her life... Mom. Dad. Twice, no less. Daniel... How many times now? Suddenly in motion, she stacked the papers on her desk, longing to get to her room and look at a certain picture on her bureau. _Come back safe._ She wished for both the lone figure that had vanished and for her own loved ones.

Lennah breathed deeply of the crisp mountain air and hummed a little as she hopped down the trail towards the village. The sun was just coming up and the misty fog was lifting from the treetops. Birdsong flitted near and far, matching how Lennah felt. She knew in a day or two her feet would be killing her so she enjoyed the walk for what it was now. Nothing felt so good as this.

She made her way through various villages, performing in market places for coin or food. Word would get around about a traveling performer and then she'd get summoned to a manor to perform for wealthy landowners. But for now she cooked her meals over a cheery fire and slept under the stars. Here she could stop for a day and fish. There she'd take photos of unsuspecting villagers.

Week one passed and she made a drop by the DHD, to be picked up by a Lantean team. Little data about her mission and some intel about Lantean technology found in the area.

Week three brought results. She was brought in to perform and, after some small talk with the man of the house, found out that things were actually quite dire. The crops were good but his wife was suffering from some unknown ailment. Lennah finished the night with the hum of applause in her ears. In gratitude, she left a drop which included a suggestion a doctor go visit the family.

Then on to the next planet. She joined with some traveling merchants who enjoyed the draw of a performer to their booths. Lennah competed with other acrobats and won out by balancing on one hand with a scale in use balanced in her raised foot.

Here word got around more quickly and she was soon invited to dance for the local lord. He was a kind faced man who oversaw his lands with a fair hand. He was, however, shrewd and Lennah offered a second night to try and talk with him. This time she performed with scarves and blades. Veiled and alluring, she finally won enough attention to hold a short conversation with the lord. He was tired of the constant work required of him and was looking forward to passing off the reins to his eldest son. Lennah offered a measured appraisal of the young man at the head of the table. He was a glutton who knew the value of anything only to himself and cared little about charity.

The lord had been so pleased by her conclusions he'd laughingly proposed marriage on behalf of his son. He knew that a man of weak character could be made great by the right woman at his side. Lennah smiled and declined as they chuckled quietly. She spent the rest of the evening describing in great detail the romances of a life on the road, leaving the old man wistful.

Lennah traveled to a total of seven worlds, making successful contacts on six.

She'd had an odd encounter with someone who'd invited her to their planet. The blonde ambassador was an honored guest of the host and Lennah had little choice but to accept the invitation. She followed the young woman through the gate where they were met by her father, the village leader.

"Welcome, traveler," he'd said. Lennah caught some strange look in his eye as he extended his hand in greeting.

"Come and rest." The old man waved to her and turned to leave himself, leaning on his daughter.

_He's ill. _Lennah realized. _He's dying and he knows._ Lennah shook her head of the nonsense and followed.

They gave her a comfy bed and she quickly fell asleep dreaming about Da Vinci's flying machine.

She woke early that morning and started folding the blankets the blonde had thrown over her.

"Leave that be." The elderly man said as he poked his head in the tent. "Come take a walk with me."

Lennah followed, humoring the gentleman. She had a scheduled meeting with one of the merchants who was going to introduce her to some of his best customers. Farmer people who had a good year of surplus. Atlantis needed those food supplies.

The old man was quiet and Lennah followed his lead. They only went a short way from camp and he settled down on a stone, obviously a favorite spot for him.

She didn't know what to say and the moments ticked by. He obviously had no intention of saying anything. She cleared her throat, hoping he'd get the drift.

The man met her eyes and Lennah sobered at the sad eyed seriousness. His eyes were sharp as he measured her. Lennah could feel his emotion and the moment was soon labored with gravity. She frowned to herself in embarrassment.

The old man nodded and looked back at the view from his rock. They sat there for a few moments in silence as the sun rose a bit higher over the village below. From this position one could see the activity going on below.

"I do believe it is time for you to go." He said and with a grunt rose to his feet.

Lennah followed his lead again and watched the villagers as they passed. The revered their leader with looks of awe and admiration. Each nodded to him and they stood aside, children in tow, making way for him to pass.

She watched as he paused to talk with this man or that and she could clearly see the good spirits that followed his advice.

"Work Weden's field to day." He said simply to some. His comments seemed to be the half formed thought of a senile old man. But, it was received as God's word by those who listened.

Lennah thought little of it until he stopped in the middle of the street for no reason. Lennah just stood and watched him as he waited for something.

Suddenly there was a cry as a old crossbeam broke and a cart full of vegetables rolled out of control toward the village of tents and awnings. People were still sleeping in their homes.

Lennah acted. She ran to a pile of cordwood. She snatched an axe, swinging it into the the cart as it passed. The wheel broke and the axel bit into the ground. The cart swung around on one wheel and tipped up, spilling between two tents.

People stirred in the aftershock, children peeking out of tents that had very nearly been smashed, occupants run over by the heavy cart. The old man stood dead center in the crossroads and looked at Lennah before continuing his routine morning walk.

Lennah blinked in shock but shrugged it off. _How did he know?_

The daughter led her to the gate and accompanied her as far as the tavern where Lennah was to meet the merchant and his clients. The room went somber as a few recognized the blonde woman.

"Sorry to have kept your associate. We had need of her this morning." She said simply and left.

Lennah found herself subject to looks of consideration and she found information came easy.

She over heard a neighboring table speculating on the visit. "They say the village leader is a Seer."

Lennah concluded her business and hurried to her last drop to pick up the time for her return to Atlantis when disaster struck.

She was on her way across a wide field, an exposed meadow, to the gate over the next hill. She was midstride when a dart hit her and she collapsed. Lennah looked up to see some aerial vehicle fly overhead, circling the prey.

I looked very much like Da Vinci's bird.


	6. To Fly and To Fall

Trouble for Colare. M+ for violence and stuff.

P.S. I MISS BECKETT!!!! D': [Around 'The Trio' /416]

---

Ch 6

Slavers...

_Great..._ Lennah thought as she came around. Even Pegasus had its share of this. Black market, drugs, all the underworld of civilization. She was being held in a caged cart with fifteen others. Things had gone quite well until now. She made a plan to escape and return with help. Upon execution that night, things again went awry and she was beaten for her trouble.

The slavers kept a watchful eye on her after that and with each step away from the gate Lennah grasped the full severity of her situation. No one on Atlantis knew where she was, much less the trouble she was in. There was no way to get word to them. She had no radio. No means of communication with any Earth personnel or their allies, if any were to be found in the area. Unlikely as Atlantis never traded with scum like this.

She could end up a slave, lost forever. An officer would show up on Mom's doorstep and hand her a folded flag. A child lost to the military mystery of 'confidentiality' and 'nondisclosure'.

Lennah tried escaping again, desperate and doomed, she was dragged back to the camp and made to watch as the whole lot was beat on account of her. They stopped feeding her the meager rations and made her walk, barefoot, behind the cart. The other poor souls threw stones at her in revenge for their beating.

She slumped to the ground that night, bound in a yoke that was tied to a stake in the ground, and cried for the first time. Fear crept up on her and she cowered like the rest of them each time a guard walked by. Lennah shut her eyes and thought about home but, instead of the convenience of life in the states, she was reminded of Africa, the Middle East, and the numerous other third world unrest.

Morning dawned dark and laden with rain and Colare slaked a two day thirst. The guards tromped through the sleet in their fur-lined boots and Lennah shivered, soaked, and freezing mud squished through her toes.

_At least the ground is softer now. _Lennah thought as she slipped and trudged through the mud as it became deeper and deeper with moisture. Her wrinkled toes found roots and stones under the surface and her feet were soon bleeding.

Lennah's teeth chattered as she slumped to her knees under the cart with the rest. She was so exhausted she fell asleep slumped against the wheel as water flowed around her knees. She woke in the middle of the night to pain in her feet. She looked down to see a young girl binding strips of her frock around Lennah's sliced feet. The rain had cleaned the mud out of the cuts and her white skin shone in the dark. The girl smiled at Lennah and they clasped hands before nodding off to sleep again.

Lennah woke with a fever. She felt weak and even the warmth of the gruel they spooned down her throat couldn't strengthen her. She was burning up and shivering at the same time. Influenza was as common in Pegasus as in the Milky Way and as deadly when untreated.

The slavers, not wanting to loose valuable 'product', allowed Lennah to ride in the cart. It stank of humanity even after the rain. Lennah slept a bit but formed a plan, which she shared with the young girl, Hagia. She was scared but consented. They spread the word, some agreeing and others refusing to take part. Quietly, until one raised the alarm and warned the guards.

Pissed, Lennah lashed out at the rat and the cart was soon a riot of violence. The guards hurried to intervene, lest the cargo injure itself. The stolen and kidnapped eagerly welcomed captors with fabric garrotes and wooden shivs. Lennah used a lighter on the straw at their feet. Chaos reached a new level as the panicked hurried to flee the burning cart. Lennah calmly shouted orders to get water and rags. The guards quickly obeyed.

The people scattered from the road and into the trees. It took only a moment for the guards to get the situation under control enough to realize what had happened.

They scattered, staying under tree cover. Three remained with Lennah as she moved across the ground staying low.

Half were recaptured in the first hour of freedom. Lennah watched a nearby group get shot down by Wraith stunners. There were only two attacking, Lennah could take them. But she only looked on, conscience pricking. Intervening would give away their position.

They moved carefully, sleeping only shortly before continuing their flight. The rain stopped and the tree cover thinned. They neared the gate. Daylight brought fevered sleep that was harder to shake off and they crossed the fields at night. Hagia and Sephora, sisters, took turns keeping watch as Lennah and the elderly Kyrka slept.

Kyrka made Lennah a cold drink, God knew how, that helped a little bit but made her sleepy. Lennah was hanging off the end of her fraying rope, reling on Hagia and Sephora to guide them.

"Follow the sun towards the gate." She said as she plodded on behind them. "Listen to birds and insects, they'll tell you when others are near."

Twice they'd seen groups of men searching the road to the south. During the day, the mechanical flying thing swooped low as it looked for new and old targets. Kyrka told them to cover themselves with leaves and moss to hide any trace of their presence.

Then they saw it. _Glorious crown. T_hrough the gate to safety.

Hagia and Sephora dailed home while Kyrka stayed with Lennah, trying to bring down her fever as best she knew how. But Lennah no longer had any desire to eat. As night fell, Lennah feared she would die if she didn't get to Atlantis. She had Kyrka dial her address while she input her IDC.

"Die well."

Lennah wasn't sure if it was a farewell or an observation that 'hey, you're gonna die.' No reply was necessary as Kyrka withdrew her support and she stumbled through the gate alone...

...Into a early morning at Atlantis control center.

There were fewer than twenty people at their posts as SGA-1 geared up to head out but before dialing could be completed an incoming wormhole sent them into defensive positions.

"I'm receiving a high priority signal." A gate tech called out and Sam nodded to him.

A hooded figure stumbled through the gate. Mud and grass decorated the coat right down to the bloody bandages on bare feet.

"Where's Carson?" a voice spoke out. Female but low and raw. "Get me Carson!" She staggered about.

"Take it easy now," Sheppard was saying from her side. He reached out to take her arm. She jerked out of his grip.

"Don't touch me!" she snarled. She weaved on her feet and blood drained from her face.

Sheppard stepped in front of her and looked into the hood. "Carson's gone." He said slowly. She was clearly hallucinating."He's been dead for almost a year now."

"Hmm, I thought he'd be back by now." She sighed and fell to her knees, fainting from the fever and blood loss. Her hood fell back and her ghostly skin stood out from the dark mud that covered her. It wasn't pretty.


	7. The In Flight

First major conversation with Sheppard. [As someone who naturally stays off the radar, Lennah views a lot of what goes on in Atlantis from the outside. Hence the shortage of tie-ins to continuity as she's not there with them when they're offworld. I drop occasional hints as to where in the show they're at or mention it here in the author's note.]

----

Chapter 7

Lennah spent a months on leave. She told Mom that it was an emergency supply run so she'd be in touch when she could. There was enough truth in that she didn't feel so bad. Chocolate and DVDs were crucial aspects of entertainment in Atlantis, whether for personal enjoyment or for trade.

Truthfully, her face hadn't healed yet. She spent some time in a tanning salon so she got some color back but this couldn't really help the whole P.O.W. look she had going. Going to the grocer's seemed the hardest. All those nice people staring at her. She wasn't used to all this attention. So Lennah opted to find some new places where her fashion accesories were more the norm. Beanie, hoodie, and baggy pants fit in well at some clubs in the area. The music was a little hard to get used to.

Because of her father's ... predisposition toward addictive behavior, Lennah avoided temptations that would predicate her own end. She never smoked, drank, or licked stamps. However, given her warlike experiences with captivity and severe illness, she felt the absence of her father more.

Lennah sat at the bar one night, shot of tequila in front of her, just staring at the glass. She must have examined every facet of the glass, every shade of the potion in the light. But in the end, she found neither her father or any answers. The barkeep watched her through all this as he polished mugs.

"Got something you needa talk about?" he asked carefully.

Lennah looked up at him. She realized she must look like an addict contemplating falling off the wagon. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"No." she sighed. "I'll be fine." She handed the glass to the man and pointed at the sink behind him.

She left, not wanting to continue the conversation, but not wanting to go home just yet, and ended up on the dance floor.

Her ribs were sore. Her feet were still healing. Her wrists were scabbed over. Her eyes had carry-on luggage. But something about all that disappeared on the floor. Here she blended into a mass of writhing people. Colare spent almost every night at one or another, blending in with the crowd more.

Time passed and she became presentable or at least passably so. The scars stood out on her wrists and her feet had taken some muscle damage. She'd taken to wearing sweatbands on her wrists. Doctors and shrinks cleared her for return to Atlantis. She'd planned her parental visit for the last three days but went over her budget. A whole week was spent back on the farm.

It was slow going. Mom asked about her love life and asked about boys and grandchildren. Practically daily. Friends of hers came to visit the prodigal child. There was a bridge club meeting Lennah couldn't get out of. Not only was Mom smothering, but now she had several women suffering 'empty nest syndrome' running about.

_Oy._

Finally, the cool smell of ionized metal. She could close her eyes and see the noxious grey color of the walls. Jack was in Washington, which put a slight damper on her chipper attitude. But Colonel Sheppard, himself, was going along as he finished some review or other. She ran into him in the SGC gateroom. He was wearing his dress blues as it was a formal review.

"Hey there, Sheppard." Lennah smiled, practically exuberant to be returning to Atlantis.

"Well, hey." He returned with his own off-guarded smile. "How was your weekend?"

Lennah exhaled loudly. "Dinner with Mother." She looked at him conspiratorially. "She wants grandchildren."

Sheppard snorted and attempted to recover. "I'm sorry..." He ended lamely, at a loss for what to say.

"So am I." she sighed. "Though that could lead to some amusing stories in the future."

"Oh, really?" Sheppard was dubious but entertained by the direction of the conversation. "How's that?"

"Well, let's see," Lennah pointedly tapped her chin. "Mother, the father of your grandbabies is a eight-armed space pirate. THAT's why they can float."

Sheppard grinned and shook his head.

"See, you can laugh." Lennah smirked. "But _you're_ the spacer, fly-boy. Have any time you can't account for? Seen any bright lights? Memory loss? Get sun burn at night?"

Sheppard genuinely laughed then. "Someone's been reading the tabloids."

"Nonsense." Lennah swatted in his general direction. "I've been reading mission reports."

Sheppard laughed but looked at her cautiously out of the corner of his eye. Lennah decided it was best to leave him in doubt on that count.

"All clear, Colonel." Harriman said over the coms.

"Roger that. Thanks for the muffins." Sheppard winked at Lennah's confusion as the gate dialed Midway.

Lennah sat up a little as the gate kawooshed into life. "We have the best jobs. Ever."

John looked sideways at her and smiled himself. "Indeed." He said, very pronounced. They stepped through the gate. One step spanning light years.

Later on Midway they shared a room. _No choice but to talk with him. _She thumbed through the DVDs. _Three Stooges? _"So if you could go anywhere, where would it be?"

Sheppard scoffed. First order of business was to get out of the uniform. "Well, it's kinda obvious." He stepped aside as Lennah crossed to insert the DVD.

"Well, Camelot's been found. So has Atlantis. Isn't there some 'REAL' place you'd like to go? Some place you can actually tell your _grandchildren_ about?"

Sheppard fidgeted as he unbuttoned his jacket. "Well, I dunno. I seen plenty of places traveling with the Air Force."

"But have you stayed in a villa in Tuscany?" Lennah smiled as he yanked on his tie. "Have you stood at the top of the Eiffel tower? Have you seen the Coliseum at Rome?"

Sheppard grimaced again. "Well, you typically have someone special with you when you go to those type of places and my AF buddies weren't up for that."

Lennah blushed a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." She turned to look up at the TV. From this close it was an uncomfortable angle.

"No problem." He shrugged. "I brought it up."

Lennah danced around for another subject.

The Stooges were great but it was hard to focus on them and not the reflection. Fortunately he relocated to the Head. Colare climbed up on the top bunk and made like carrots and peas for a while. Sheppard came back sometime during Tomb Raider.

They could only sleep so much during 24 hours and it was a small place. They converged on the small gym set up for those who worked on Midway. It was just a few sets of free weights, jump rope and stability ball. Zero-G was an occasional part of standard Midway operation and exercise was required for the full-time staff. Who knows if it actually was done.

"Italy." Lennah nodded, stretching out a quad.

"What about it?" Sheppard did curls distractedly. Not really interested in working out but filling time.

"I would go there." She nodded. "If I could."

"Any particular reason?"

"Eh, there's a few." She apologized.

John looked at his watch for the thirtieth time. "Got some time. Shoot." He figured the conversation might have hit a bottomless abyss of a topic but hearing that sultry voice talk for a while wasn't really a bad thing. He bumped up to a 30 lb. weight.

Lennah smiled and blinked as she tried to remember her line of thought. "The Godfather."

"Now, that is a good reason."

"Art, of course. Really, really old art." She counted off a second finger. "Art major." She pointed at herself.

"Of course."

"Food." She kept gesturing 'big' with her hands as she stuttered. "I—I mean... It's just...And so... I mean, come on!"

"Tell me about it." He switched arms.

She stuttered some more, attempting to. Sheppard grinned and she returned the smile before continuing.

"They live slow." She grappled for the right words. "They take their time. They aren't ruled by the clock like Americans are. Work doesn't get in the way of life, you know? It's just something they do. I mean, they're passionate, of course. Really, really passionate. But they know when to walk away."

"Smellin the flowers." Sheppard nodded.

"Yeah." She smiled. "And I'm Italian on my dad's side. Big families. Big dinners every night. Meals last for hours because everyone's talking."

Sheppard looked over at her and took in her wistful expression. Meals in his childhood had been quiet affairs. He was almost jealous.

"My dad didn't get to see them a lot. After he came back from the war, I mean." She looked over at Sheppard to see if she was boring him.

John kept his eyes forward as he nodded.

"It was hard, I know." Lennah said, still looking at John. "Everyone wanted war stories but they had no idea of the horror of it. They only wanted to hear about the glory of battle. He'd been a clown before, and still was after, but he became a loner. He only performed for his family, stuff like: holding conversations and pretending to listen."

John realized he was still nodding. "It's the same for a lot of vets. People expect you to just go back to life as usual."

"They don't realize that part of life is gone and the best thing you can do is just start over."

John nodded again. "Your family move around a lot?"

"Yeah." She sighed with regret. "Part of why I took this job."

"It's in your bones now." John looked over at her as she stretched triceps. She nodded. "It's not a bad thing."

"Atlantis is just amazing."

"She definitely has a pull to her." John smiled and scratched his chin with his free hand. "Three years now, huh?" Could it really have been that long?

"For you." Lennah shook her head. "I don't know if I could make it that long."

John shrugged. "I just rearrange the furniture a lot."

Lennah nodded slowly. "Riiight..." _Kirk. _

The guy never moved stuff an inch, even to dust. The guy had a fridge in there for crying out loud. And beer. Lots of cold beer. Common knowledge. Why was he trying to pass that off?

"I dunno. Maybe I'm loosing my mind." John chuckled. He replaced the weight and stood there, wondering what to do next.

"One of us." Colare snorted. She started with a pair of 10s.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you on the wagon. Besides, it's not like you can't just go for a jaunt on some other planet."

"Again. One of us." She sulked. No off-world travel for Lennah.

"Really?" John looked like this was a math problem he knew he _should_ be able to answer. "Huh."

Lennah knew he, as the military commander of Atlantis, knew that she did some off-world work. She'd built contacts for Atlantis trained personnel to cultivate. Should she show up along side in full tac, the gig's up and her identity would be known to be affiliated with Atlantis. That might lead to all kinds of hostage situations, blackmail, and general nastiness. The Genii could be relied upon in that respect.

"I'm sure we could figure something out. What's your profession, again?"

Lennah looked at him for a moment. "Uh, photographer."

"Oh, well, that's easy." He smiled. "We'll just tell them you need to catalog... stuff."

Lennah snorted. "Okay, boss." She shook her head.

"No, really, this could work."

Lennah sighed. _This one is dense._ "I'm, um, a special case, you know? The contractor? 'I work alone' and all that."

John looked over at her, studying her. "Oh my God, that's you?"

Lennah blushed a little. "Yup."

John looked at her anew. "Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just... you look different." John was evasive.

"Oh, really?" Lennah narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean," John scratched the back of his neck. "Last time I saw you, you were kinda out there."

"Oh, yeah." Lennah paled. "I was really sick."

"You tried to tell me Carson was alive."

"I don't remember that part." Lennah looked at him sharply.

"It was after you passed out. In the infirmary. You talked in your sleep."

Lennah paled. "What did I say?"

"Oh, just some stuff about Carson." John nodded as he recalled. "Something about sea turtles. And you don't like Ronon much."

"Sea turtles?"

"You were pretty sick." He nodded.

"Huh."

"Is it true?" he asked after a moment. "You don't like our resident caveman?"

Lennah made a face somewhere between an apologetic grimace and a scowl.

"So, yes." He shrugged and absentmindedly scratched his chin. "Can I ask why?"

Lennah made another face. "He's _so_ young."

John jerked over to her. "Funny reason not to like the guy."

"No, I mean." She sighed. "I mean, he's impulsive, arrogant, angry, aloof, violent—"

"I get the picture." John waved her off. "You gotta realize the guy spent a lot of time alone. He doesn't talk much."

"I know, he speaks with his actions." Lennah shrugged. "Guy's like a big cat. Territorial and aggressive. The gym's his and you gotta fight him for the rights."

Well, that's not too bad, girls like cats. "He does eat. A lot. You could work out then."

"I have my own place I go to." Lennah smiled. "I was talking about pride lands."

John gave her a look. What?

"You know," she nodded. "Lions. Wolves. Alpha. Leader of the pack. Fight to determine the most capable leader. Best breeder, whatever."

"Ah." John nodded. "Gotcha. Yeah, he's alpha material, alright." Best breeder? John wasn't so sure about that, he'd have to compare numbers again. "If you want my opinion, I think you're down on his best qualities. You alright?"

Lennah choked and started coughing. She took a swig of the bottle Sheppard passed her.

"Easy there, champ." He chuckled. "Don't die on me now."

Lennah chuckled halfheartedly in return. "Thanks." She said hoarsely.

"No problem." Damn, that voice was hot.

The rest of the time at Midway passed quickly. They chatted here and there. She had no idea he was that bored.

­

Back on Atlantis, Lennah went straight to work. Suplies had to be moved off the sled. She hoisted a fifty pound box of gear over her shoulder and smiled at the marine in her way. He blinked and stepped aside.

"Hey there, kid. Why don't you let the marines handle that? Leave 'em something to do."

"Just this last one." She sighed and set it down in front of the stairs.

"Give those dogs a rest. Still getting better, you know."

Lennah smirked. "I'm fine." She waved him off.

"Got that right." A marine seconded, grunting with effort.

Lennah got the distinct impression they weren't talking about the same thing.

"Well that's the thing about dogs." He put an arm around her and led her away from the activity. "They love to work and won't stop until they drop. You gotta handle them just right. Reign 'em in. Watch 'em close."

Lennah shot him a disapproving look and spun off his arm. "I'm a cat person." She said in parting. Sheppard was left grinning like one such creature at the inside joke.


	8. Doubling Back

As always, things change. [This fight scene wasn't in the first draft. My baby sis came up with the idea and I thought it was funny. She loves gutsy girls and Dex-whump.]

----

Chapter 8

Something was different. Whether it was Lennah or the rest of the people, she didn't know. Maybe it was sympathy for all the hard luck off-world. Maybe they wanted the... 'unofficial' story about what happened out there.

"Oh, It's so romantic. A slave girl performing for wealthy landowners and kings. How exotic! The sexy outfits. Maria told me about some of the stuff in her bag. It was beautiful but there wasn't much there."

"Hey, Lennah." Someone called for the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes.

"Hey." She returned with a nod. _What am I, the friggin mascot?_

Mess was now a tangled affair. She now received invites to various tables as soon as she walked in the door. _Oh, now I'm back in high school?_

Lennah opted for her usual seat with Price and the others.

_Who you kidding? High school was never like this._

"Hey, Price." Lennah leaned over the table to speak privately with the Brit. "What's going on? All of a sudden, people I never met know my name."

Price smiled. "Well, you're on stage now. Got a bit of the spotlight for a while and now people want your story."

Lennah frowned in confusion. Price's frustration was tinged with humor. Price recognized that Lennah was someone so well adapted to being completely ignored that she didn't even make some adaptive measure to get attention. She was still and quiet, always refusing to draw attention to herself.

"It's a drama, love. Entertainment. Big, sad story of a young girl's travels alone in Pegasus."

"I'm the side show?" Lennah was incredulous. This is too much attention. Damage done. No more side trips for Lennah. Maybe there was something to Sheppard's idea.

Price looked Lennah over, modest and well grounded in reality. A little too well grounded. More like under ground. "You know, most girls your age would be thrilled to get this much attention."

Lennah smiled guility. "I'd like to think that's a point of maturity."

"What, that no one notices you? Or that you don't make waves? Because right now you're doing neither." Price leaned forward and tapped her finger on the table. "You came back a little different, Colare. Look at that shirt you're wearing."

"What about it?"

"It's red." Price smiled like that meant something.

"And?"

"It's new."

"Where are you going with this?"

"You went through some hard experiences, Lennah, things that would end most people. But here you are, solid as ever, if not more so. You are asking yourself some serious questions and it shows in how you carry yourself. Before, you were content to live a quiet life, off the radar. But now you are a survivor. You are re-examining some life choices, love, and they're all for the better, let me tell you."

There was no point in hiding it or deflecting. "Ya really think so?"

Price smiled. "I really do. And, if you look around, you might see who else agrees with me."

Lennah studied her potatoes and glanced around the room. A number of people were watching, staring even.

"Are the differences so severe?" Lennah asked Price.

Price nodded. "Before, you were the archetypical librarian; mousy, quiet, and submissive by being a shut-in. Now it's more 'librarian as a sex symbol'."

Turns out they did let her go off-world again. Just final confirmation on some contacts that might work out for the long run but something to look forward to. Atlantis had checked out the most likely candidates and Lennah just had to pop in on them, ask if they wanted to meet with a rep from Atlantis, and be on her merry. The man with the sick wife, for example, had already agreed to part with some goods in payment for the medical aid but no lasting relationship.

_Everybody wants in the pants but not in the home._ She sighed internally as she geared up in stealth gear. She wasn't military but she had her own variation of military regulation gear she used for various outings.

Lennah was only going to be gone a week at most and this time, due to previous problems, she'd have a radio on her and her trips would coincide with some 'standard recon' ops in the local areas. Colare asked Sheppard if he'd found anything out about the slavers and if he wanted her to do some digging.

He'd run a worrying hand through his hair and sheepishly admitted that he'd been about to ask her if she would mind doing that very thing. She smiled and nodded her head.

"I'll do my best." She said as she headed out. This time Sheppard stood on the balcony to see her off.

It was largely easygoing. This time she avoided the crowds and stuck to the oblivion of invisibility. Some didn't recognize her but that didn't mean she didn't get in. She was successful and kept her regular check in times, making sure she was never late. Time might come when being ten minutes late could get her some needed attention.

Lennah kept to the dark corners and alleys as much as possible. She knew that going in the same circles as before being captured by the slavers might get her noticed again.

Things got a little sticky when she made her way back around to the feudal lord's land, the generous old man who'd proposed on his son's behalf. She inquired at a tavern about the state of affairs in the area and got a scripted answer. She did a little more probing and found out that he'd passed on in less than straightforward circumstances.

Lennah considered including it in her check in, but at the last minute and told the person on the other end everything. She was embarrassed, no one would care about her insubstantial concerns, but the other end had listened patiently and signed off.

The next morning she went about business as usual, inquiring at the manor for a meeting with the old man, even though she knew he was deceased. She was turned away but told to come back the next day. One more night in a cheery tavern wasn't so bad. She spent the rest of the day in leisure at the markets and traders. Not long after she arrived, a burly group of thugs entered the tavern. They were quiet and didn't order drinks.

At breakfast, they were still there. Lennah watched them behind her through the reflection in a candleholder. She hoped there was someone on the other end when she clicked on her radio. The noisy clatter of various early morning activities crackled over the other end. It clicked off for a few minutes then on again for another few minutes three times. Not S.O.S. but still conveying a measure of distress.

Though her back was turned, she could see and hear the three behind her and could tell from their body language alone that they intended to approach her at some point. She rose to sit at the bar for another drink. It was pretense, of course, seeing as how she didn't drink but the bar was more widely visible and active.

She was eyeing exits when a tired-eyed Runner slumped into the seat next to her. He was so tired he didn't even see her.

_Self-absorbed narcissist._ She thought without betraying her poker face.

He softly ordered a mug and rubbed his face.

She took a swig of the stale beer and turned on her best smile. "Hey." She said low and raspy. The stuff stung as it stank. She cleared her throat to shake it. "I'm gonna kick your butt." Lennah grinned broadly and spoke with absolute certainty.

Ronon looked up from his drink at her. "Huh?" he grunted in confusion. A right hook connected with his face.

_Damn, that felt good._ She grinned. Hit him again as he swung back at her.

A fight was on. Ronon and Lennah traded blows. Got everyone's attention. He pushed her into someone and they fell on each other, all swinging fists. The three thugs forced their way toward Colare but soon became embroiled in the all star riot. The barkeep bellowed and laughed as he jumped into the mess from the bar.

Sheppard came in the front door just as Lennah threw Ronon against the wall.

"Woah!" He looked around at the chaos and back at his friend. "Hey, we gotta go." If they got locked up for brawling, Woolsey wouldn't be happy.

Ronon held up a finger. There was a definite glimmer in his eyes. "Just one more minute." He bargained as Lennah grabbed him by the shirt and swung him back into the dogfight.

Sheppard looked around at the people beating the crap out of each other and picked his way carefully toward the back door, ducking and dodging as he went. He leaned on the bar and looked around again. Ronon was wailing on some huge lug of a man when he looked up and caught sight of Sheppard. He blasted on final blow and slinked out behind Sheppard as he disappeared.

The pair made their way through some brush to the Jumper. Ronon was invigorated and enjoyed himself where Sheppard cursed the brambles. They entered the Jumper as the hatch closed behind them. Ronon drew his gun and sunk into a crouch. They stood there for a moment as the Jumper took off and rose in altitude.

A face looked out from behind the pilot's chair and smiled. "Hey."

Sheppard made his way forward and sat in the co-pilot's chair.

"So you run into trouble?" he asked, bored and tired. He was no doubt up all night.

Lennah nodded. "Angry ex-lover." She smiled over at Shep in sympathy to his state of exhaustion. The Jumper weaved. Sheppard corrected it.

Ronon looked around in confusion. "What are you doing here?" He may have recognized her from the fight but it was in greater doubt that he'd remember her from Atlantis.

Sheppard and Lennah looked over their shoulders.

"I needed a ride." She stated as though it should be obvious. Sheppard grunted and she concentrated on not flying in circles.

Ronon sat in the back of the Jumper in a mysterious funk until they landed. He refused to partake in any conversation despite Sheppard's _many_ attempts to get him to join in.

_Poor Chewie._ She smirked. _Doesn't like not knowing what's going on. _But what percentage was anger and what was fear? Could his silence be fear? Lennah liked that idea. He'd been a Runner for so long, failing at anything, like conversation, was not an option.

Sheppard took Lennah's bags and the pair vanished, leaving Mr. Dex to sulk.

"Who was that?" He asked of Sheppard when he finally caught up with him.

Sheppard shrugged. "Who?" He smirked at the frustrated look on Ronon's face. "You know, Ronon, you don't often show interest in many people."

Ronon shifted, unsure of the sudden change in topic. "So?"

"That just makes it all the more special when you _do_ take an interest." Sheppard shrugged and scratched his chin, trying to be nonchalant. "What's your interest in that person I may or may not have seen?"

Ronon sighed and put his hands in his pockets. His head lolled back in exasperation. He now realized he was being goaded. "Are you going to tell me her name, now, or what?"

Sheppard just smiled. "Well, you've waited this long. Why don't _you_ go ask her?"

Ronon shook his head in disbelief. "I hate you."


	9. Suddenly in Context

More little person/main char dynamic.

[Sometime after 'Broken Ties'. I imagine Ronon had plenty of time on his hands as detox is typically 4 to 6 weeks. He couldn't have spent every waking moment in the gym so... I put a book in his hands... *grovels* forgive me if i ruin your manly man's man image of him. It was for laughs and to get Lennah to talk to him.]

----

Chapter 9

Weeks later, Colare and some of the Ladies' Poker Society spent a few hours working out and goofing off. After, Lennah went for a long jog around the city before making her way back to her room. It was a beautiful day and she showered quickly, eager to catch some photos of the sunset around the two moons. It was a hot evening, like 'Santa Ana winds' hot, and she wore her only dress to keep cool. It was a gift from her mother, designed to produce men out of thin air. She chose a balcony close to her room and felt comfortable enough that she wouldn't run into anyone. Her neighborhood was deserted. People usually went to the South pier when they wanted to be alone.

The scene was beautiful and her camera thrummed over the next hour. She saw through her lens what she'd failed to notice when she arrived on the balcony.

In catching a shot of the colored light on glass, she noticed Ronon sitting at a table a few hundred feet away. She zoomed in to see his face.

_He's reading..._ Lennah smiled. _Proof is needed._ She clicked a picture before reading the title on the book. _Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice' abridged version._

Shocked. She was absolutely shocked. She supposed that the sight before her was made possible by the fact that he was alien. Sheppard would pay to have a picture of his macho buddy reading a classic chick novel.

_In God's name, why would a guy like him read a romance novel? _She chuckled. _To get chicks._

Lennah started walking toward him, dying to know how he'd react to being caught. She even disregarded her damp hair and her frivolous looking sundress.

She didn't like him but that didn't mean she couldn't be polite. There were even profitable blackmailing topics to discuss.

He was engrossed in his reading but Lennah knew he'd seen her.

"I suggest you watch the movie of that one." She smiled. "Easier to digest than the language used."

Ronon looked up before he continued reading. She looked over his shoulder and saw he was almost done with the whole book. _Who knew he could read English? I wonder if he learned it recently or if it's similar enough to... whatever the Satedans used for writing. He could have just flipped to the end when he saw me. _If that was the case, Colare planed to catch him at it.

_This is worth sticking around for._ She set her camera on the table and leaned on the balcony as Ronon finished. It was growing cooler as the last bit of sun dissolved into the sea like a butterscotch candy. _God, I'm hungry._ Her stomach growled loudly. Dex even heard it.

The city lit up little by little until Ronon changed his angle to catch the light of a nearby lantern.

Lennah watched the sky, forgetting where she was for a moment, and looked for familiar constellations. No Pleiades to be seen. Her happy demeanor returned as a few meteors shot across the sky. Memories of long nights star-gazing with Marc made her heart beat faster. It had been a long time.

The book snapped shut and she turned to see Ronon watching her with his head propped on a hand like a disapproving teacher.

Lennah smiled. "Well?"

Ronon looked at the book again, considering. He exhaled slowly before looking up at Lennah.

'_Are you serious?'_ he seemed to say.

Lennah smirked and shrugged. "Anyone who takes no pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid."

Ronon took the challenge in surprisingly good humor. He only gave her the briefest of sneers.

"It was a fair exposition of the silliness of pre-judgment."

_Who knew Ronon Dex, Runner of Few Grunts, knew any multi-syllabic words._ Lennah stared in a stupor for a second before rational thought returned. What she didn't know that was a critic's quote from the back of the book. Word for word. He was already offset enough from her good opinion, cheating was allowed.

"Is that all?" She raised her eyebrows. "That's considered an epic classic across many different cultures."

Ronon readjusted himself in his slouch. "That makes sense." Things McKay said made no sense to him but everyone else thought it was brilliant. Therefore the value of the book made sense.

Lennah considered whether or not that was a sufficient compliment or at least in agreement.

"Do your people have anything like this?" Lennah almost regretted asking.

"Books?" he scoffed. "Yeah."

"I didn't mean—" Lennah exhaled. "I meant Austen. The time period like hers?"

He considered for a moment and she turned her attention elsewhere while he considered.

"There was something similar." His voice sounded far away. "Sort of."

"Her description reaches a bit?" Lennah supplied.

"My people weren't so..."

"Elegant?"

"Pretentious." Ronon's voice had a slightly mocking tone that Lennah felt was best to ignore. Credit had to be given. That word wasn't on the back of the book. It was on the back of a different one.

Lennah considered that picture for a moment. A tribal looking Ronon bowed to a feral Satedan girl who blushed becomingly before offering her hand. He smiled over it and pressed his lips to the pale skin. She raised a club, hidden behind her back, and walloped him over the head with it before dragging him back to her cave.

_Someone's on crack..._ She looked over her shoulder and gave him a bemused, disbelieving frown.

"Like how?" Lennah took a seat across from Ronon.

Ronon looked smug. "Another time." He stood and picked up his book. "Hungry?"

_CRAP! Now I get to skip dinner..._ Lennah smiled sadly and shook her head.

Ronon looked at her a minute and shrugged.

What was she supposed to do? By this time, late hour as it was, the Mess would be packed out. Ronon looked typically disinterested but she was wearing a little red dress. Lennah didn't wear dresses in public. Anywhere. For any reason. Much less short, strappy ones.

Then a thought occurred to her. "Bring your dinner to my place. We'll watch the movie." The worlds were out before she thought it through.

Ronon was silent. "Sure it's a good idea?" He'd caught her wince.

Lennah was nonchalant. "Yeah! Why not? I've got nothing better to do. Do you? "

He debated it for a moment then shrugged. He'd see if she'd kick him out during the movie.

_Maybe he won't mind if I pick at his food._

Turns out he brought enough for two, even by his standards. Lennah got the distinct impression that her ruse was up.

He smiled. "Movies need food."

"Oh," she flushed. "Right."

The movie started and Lennah _tried very hard_ to eat nonchalantly but was too hungry to slow down.

With her hunger sated she sat back on the day bed and was struck with awareness of her current situation.

_I invited someone I detest to my room for food..._ Lennah looked across to Ronon. _How is it I always end up in the enemy's camp?_

She watched the movie with a minimum of interest, feeling more and more the similarity of her circumstance to Lizzy: a horrendous booby. It's not like she was using him for sex but food was a close equivalent.

_Not that I'd know..._

"What was that!?!" Ronon asked. He liked Sheppard's taste in movies better but it looked like someone was finally getting somewhere.

"Wha—Oh." Lennah muttered something to the computer and skipped the film backwards. "At this point, Lizzy's never been kissed and, when faced with Mr. Darcy's proximity, she feels... compelled."

"She hates him." Ronon stated in confusion. A smile played on his lips.

"She _thinks_ she hates him. And besides, that's not the point."

Ronon looked at her in bemusement, smiling at the confusion of that statement. She'd answered his question without sneering at him. It was lost on Lennah as she watched her favorite scene of the whole movie.

The rest of the film passed in the obscurity of familiarity and the unlikely pair nodded a silent farewell. Lennah leaned against her door, relieved to be alone finally. Or so she thought as some vague vestiges of a male presence remained. Not the scent of unwashed humanity but some fragrance for men. She looked over her shoulder as if trying to watch the vanishing form of Ronon delicately applying perfume before going to spar with Sheppard...

Oddly, she liked that image well enough to bask, slightly, in the fading scent. She was _that_ starved for male company. Her dreams were heady and she slept late, curling like a sated cat in the sunlight. Mother would call her a 'naughty slugabed.'


	10. The Imposition of Friends

I'm fairly obsessed with some of the themes in this chapter so i spent some time playing with them and couldn't edit much out. It's the climactic part of the story, too. [Google translator! Ancient device activated!!]

----

CHAPTER 10

Sheppard was amazing... a hero. A legend. He somehow got her an invite on a Ancient tech cataloguing. A perplexing device was found on PX1-186 and Rodney was going to figure it out in five hours. Fifty bucks said so.

Sheppard knocked impatiently on her door an hour before debarking. She fidgeted nervously through the briefing, fearing Woolsey would give some last minute excuse why she shouldn't go.

It was a planet fairly closed off from the community of trade worlds. The village was set back from the gate. They were private people who lived modestly and could support only themselves. Sheppard needlessly assured her that no one would recognize her. She'd be with four other teams of scientists and Marines, besides.

She finally stood in the gateroom, feeling like Christmas and the first day at a new school. Lennah let out a slow breath and stepped forward once they were cleared. Ronon and Sheppard shared an amused smile. Some times it was nice to see someone appreciate the things they did on a daily basis.

The trek to the village was a long one. She kept tripping on the feet of the person in front of her. She blamed it on clumsiness and rough terrain.

The trees thinned and water could be heard nearby. The sea. The warm air smelled of salt and fish. They followed the beach for another mile and watched sailboats flit across the calm harbor toward the docks. Lennah fought the urge to dance.

The village came into view, all at once. The white houses stood as stacked on the hillside. Pillars and arches lent itself to the Greek style while the air of a fishing village made it look like some hidden away corner of the Mediterranean.

Lennah distractedly took pictures as Sheppard tapped Ronon's arm and pointed in her direction. Lennah was aware of the stupid happy look on her face but she didn't care. They made their way into the city through the mezzanine boardwalk that looked out over the dock and the bay.

The water was so pristine, you could see the large tuna the schoolboys dove after. Fishwives hawked wares boat-side and farmers bellowed competitively about cabbages and carrots. Lennah was enraptured by all of this. Even Teyla was amused.

"Do they not have places like this on Earth?" she asked.

"Well, yeah." She shrugged. "But it's expensive to travel there. And it's not like this anymore."

"This is like the place time forgot." Sheppard piped in and Lennah grinned at him as she nodded. He beamed around a bit of straw he was chewing on.

A mother barked chidingly at her son as they passed and Lennah caught a bit of the native tongue.

"Tenere per le strade mentre i intrusi sono qui!!" she said. _Stay on the strade when the intruders are here!!_

"Scusi, donna. quello che hai detto?" Lennah asked politely with a smile. "E, il perdono, perché chiama 'intrusi', e non visitatori?" _Why do you call us 'intruders'?_

The woman stared for a second. "Perché non _visita_. Perché non sus rendere il benvenuto?" _Because you don't _visit_. Why don't you make your welcome?_

"Pardone." Lennah turned to Sheppard. "Didn't you guys offer some gift when you started traipsing across their land? Any explanations?"

"Well, someone talked to them, told them what we were doing in their hills. None of the people go out to the ruins."

"That's business. You have to give something of yourself first. Make it personal. Eat a meal together or something. They call us 'intruders'. That's not good for PR."

"You instinctually shared tea with myself upon our first meeting, Colonel Sheppard. The same is required of many cultures in the Pegasus." Teyla put in. She groped around her person until offering a handmade necklace.

Each member of the group offered the woman a piece and she looked on confusedly but grateful. It wasn't their custom to give gifts.

"Grazie, Grazie, malte bella."

"Prego." Lennah offered.

"Mi segua, per favore." The woman asked and Lennah gestured to the others. They followed her into the town center where the village woman caught the attention of a group of old men sitting around a gate. Lennah realized these were the elders.

The exchange was brief and the attention turned to the silent group behind the woman.

"Siete i benvenuti qui." The jolly man sitting in the center of the group said with his arms raised. He extended kisses to all members of the troupe, including a disgusted McKay. "Siedono, siedono, per favore."

Lennah tried to follow the rapid exchange of pseudo-Italian. She tried to explain to McKay that the language was Latin based, as many Earth languages, because of Alterean influences. McKay was excused to the site and Lennah tried to explain what they were doing out in the ruins. The elders were very interested in the value of the knowledge. They tried to finagle some exchange out of Lennah but she sidetracked them.

"A father may have two sons, but the knowledge of the father belongs to both, equally."

A few fists rapped on the cobblestones in praise of the reply. The negotiator asked when such knowledge would be shared between the brothers.

Lennah scoffed and shrugged, at a loss for what to say. "When the basket weaver can show the potter's son how to ply sails and master the sea."

There were laughs this time and Lennah translated to the sound of pounding knuckles. The negotiator wasn't pleased.

"Take this one away. Call your wife, Ephisus, send her to the kitchens."

"Oh, surely, elder, I should enjoy introducing her to our sons." Came the reply to bawdy laughter.

"Oh, spare me!" More laughter.

There was some discomfort expressed when Lennah translated that. She was glad when Teyla accompanied her.

The kitchen was a noisy, hot place full of large women.

Dinner was in various stages of completion and there were ingredients still sitting out and herbs hanging from various hooks around the room. Lennah made herself at home and got right to preparing a variation on an Alfredo sauce. The only recipe in her retinue aside from boxed mac and cheese. Some women watched on as she mixed stuff together. She tasted everything as she tried to find ingredients similar enough and watched closely as it bubbled over the fire pit.

Lennah offered a plate of fat noodles to the oldest woman present and poured a bit of hot sauce over the noodles. In such cultures, it is widely accepted that skinny women don't spend a lot of time cooking. The matron braced herself for the worst. Surprise registered over the woman's face and she nodded a begrudging approval.

Lennah made up plates for a few others.

"You know, for someone who fears being attached, you certainly are eager to prove your value as a daughter-in-law." Teyla said quietly.

"Habit." Lennah replied. "This was how you showed respect to the women in my family."

"And one's skill as a wife." Teyla frowned as a plate of greasy noodles was passed under her nose.

Lennah was put to chopping onions, the least desirable task. She looked haggard by the time Sheppard and Ronon poked their heads in. They were hissed out of the kitchen by the hens.

Lennah saw them again as she brought out plates for host, sons, and guests. She paused to mop her face and Ronon grabbed her arm and she sprawled onto a cushion between him and Sheppard.

"Finally, the intelligent one returns. What have you been doing in there?" The jovial elder asked. The oldest, he had the honor of having the guests over for dinner. He poured a generous helping of food onto the guys' plates and ignored Lennah's.

"Many things, elder." She answered. Lennah realized the question had been rhetorical.

Sheppard handed her a soup bowl and Ronon plopped noodles drenched in tomato paste in it.

Sheppard smiled. "A woman's work is never done."

Lennah smiled. "Did McKay get his work done?"

Sheppard nodded. "Most of it anyway, he can delegate the rest." The host cleared his throat loudly, offended by the woman talking at the table.

"Good." She sighed. "Because I wouldn't want to stay the night in this house." The host was now picking at his feet between bites.

"10-4, good buddy."

But things weren't that simple. Rodney flipped some alarm that he had to figure out before they could leave. Due to _someone's haste, the device was now leaking radioactive particles at a level that would soon become toxic to the village's food source. The group made their way up the mountain. They made camp a safe distance away. They'd sleep while McKay and his unfortunates corrected the error._

Lennah could hardly stay awake in the warmth of the fire as the tent was erected. She could faintly hear Teyla and Sheppard talking in the background.

"Rodney's pretty sure he knows what it is: a simulator of some kind. He warned me he may have to turn it all the way on to get it working properly." Sheppard said lowly.

"Let us hope he is correct." Teyla replied.

Hands led her to a sleeping bag on the ground and she submitted to the guidance, hugging the pillow offered. "Thanks." She drawled as she curled into a ball.

"Welcome." A gruff voice replied.

It was before dawn when she awoke. She laid there daydreaming for a while.

A twig snapped a few yards away. She froze and opened her eyes.

_McKay and his group?_ She wondered. She tried to determine the answer. _Nope. Wrong direction. From the village maybe._

Colare looked around her. The others were sleeping quite solidly. _No reason to wake them._

Lennah slipped out of her bag and noticed Teyla and Sheppard, on her right, lay facing each other. As if they'd fallen asleep recently, after talking for some time into the night. Ronon was on her left and he snored loudly. Like a pig.

_Wasn't he a Runner for years? Shouldn't he be more of a light, _silent _sleeper?_ Colare rolled her eyes and crawled out of the tent on muffled feet. _Who took off my shoes? _She narrowed her eyes at Ronon. _Trying to insure I won't run away..._

No time for that now, the noise was getting louder. She sidled over to the nearest tree and ascended. Shortly, there was no evidence left of her at the campsite.

The embers left from the fire smoked faintly in their bed of ashes, waiting to be rekindled. The fog moved heavily over the tent and snores could still be heard, fainter now that she was a distance away.

She couldn't climb very high in the fog. She'd loose sight of the ground. Lennah waited until someone stumbled into the clearing.

_I thought we took the only course up. Must be coming from the other side of the mountain, then._

This person crouched down and moved closer to see the people inside. He pulled out a machete. Lennah dropped onto him.

"Looking for someone?" she asked as he jumped up. She pounded his kidneys and ducked the blade he slashed at her.

A second grabbed her from behind and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Be quiet or we'll kill your friends."

_Go ahead and try, chump._ But she could only mumble as they dragged her back into the woods. _Who are you guys?_ She didn't recognize them, she didn't think. If anybody, they were the slavers back for revenge or ransom. But it didn't matter, as soon as they gave her an inch, she'd pound them and raise the alarm.

She was thrown tumbling into another clearing. It was rather fun, really, rolling in a pile of leaves. Lennah moved to her feet where she was knocked sprawling by a blow to her face. She groaned. _Now that hurt a bit. Not fun._

There was some chuckles from all around her. She tried to count the voices but was too dizzy to keep track. Colare rolled over and was kicked for her trouble.

_What the heck!?! What did I do to you?_

"Get up." A voice called. Colare sobbed and struggled. _Why? You're just gonna hit me again. _"Get up!!"

Colare worked herself into a frenzy and finally stood. She counted five around her. Who they were was still a mystery.

"Come on." The leader called. "Let's go." He taunted her, circling.

"Who are you?" she rasped. No answer. A jab at her face and she ducked. She repeated her question. Same reaction. This time she landed a solid KO.

They were beyond talking. She threw herself into the fight. One lay sprawling and two more joined in. They fought dirty. Striking when her back was turned. A pushed her from behind and she landed on her face. More kicks. Two dragged her to her feet and held her arms out. The leader came in, working her ribs over. Lennah used the brutes at her sides to catch his neck with her legs. She squeezed his windpipe and the pair dropped her. Lennah rolled with it, landing on top. Knocked his wind out. Before she could make her next move, a blow struck her jaw and blacked out.

She woke again, propped up by the two idiots. "What'd I ever do to you?"

"You cross our territory, you pay." He struck her again. Reeling for a second, a red flash cut into him.

Ronon burst onto the scene. Took the final one in his own typical fashion. Lennah thought he could have gone easier on him.

"That's enough." Sheppard cocked a P-90 as he formed a line with Ronon and Teyla. The two left standing froze. Lennah breathed a bit easier.

"It would be best if you leave now." Teyla advised.

"Are we letting them leave?" Ronon growled.

"I don't remember that being part of the plan, Teyla." John snarled, itchy trigger finger.

"Offering a peaceful resolution."

"I'm not good with them leaving yet."

"Yeah, me either." John said. "Doesn't really send the right kind of message."

"Drop her." Teyla barked. The brutes paused. "DROP her!"

They complied and Lennah rolled onto her back.

"Shouldn't there be some maiming involved?" John asked, whining now.

Ronon agreed with a grunt.

"On your knees! Hands on your head! On your HEAD!!"

John fired over their heads, spraying them with bark and twigs.

Lennah moved to safety and took John's hand to stand. Ronon closed ranks in front of her.

"I don't know what I did." She half grunted with the pain. The fight had lasted only seconds but she'd really gotten worked over.

"Doesn't matter. If you heard something you shoulda told us, Colare." Sheppard said. He glanced off the sights to look at her.

"I've been worse." It was the truth. Ronon looked over his shoulder, unsure.

Suddenly the radio sparked to life. "What's going on?" came Rodney's panicked voice. "We heard gunfire."

Sheppard reached for the radio at his shoulder without taking his aim off the group on the ground. "We're okay. Colare got jumped."

Rondey's voice came back as a squeak. He cleared his throat. "Really?"

"Yeah, she looks pretty bad." He responded. "No offence."

Lennah smiled and winced: busted lip.

Rodney was talking again. "Well, I, uh, looked over the files again and, uh, ... You know how some words can have multiple meanings?"

"Yeah..." Sheppard sensed a snag ahead.

"Well, I thought I had it right but these things can really be really subtle and I don't have the best grammatical grasp of the Ancient language. So I'm not really at fault, here, you gotta understand that. I just turned it on and all this new data popped up and I really didn't notice that all the info was real-time not just a simulation. But, I swear, I turned it off just as soon as I figured out what was happening. And, then... there was the gun fire... and I thought you guys were like killing each other... or something."

"Rodney, what the hell is going on?"

"I'm sorry!" McKay stammered on a bit before raising his voice hysterically. "The device is a behavioral modifier used to regress human groups into pack mentalities for the purpose of discovering whether or not hive minds would be possible on a grand scale of humanity!"

"What?"

"Some Ancient scientist was trying to figure out if humans could be gathered up into one big basket and made to live without conflicts to force a peaceful state..."

"What does that mean, Rodney?" Sheppard was loosing patience but the group on the ground wasn't looking for holes in the defenses. In fact, they were just sitting there, looking rather dazed and confused.

Mountain people. They smelled like goats. Lennah crouched down to look one of them in the face but he shied away. "They don't know, either." She said to herself.

"What?" Ronon asked. "They don't know?"

"Us."

"Huh?" Ronon looked over at her again. Lennah realized they were all touching: Ronon, Teyla, everyone.

"They were trying to attack us." Lennah explained. "Not just me. I just wandered away from the pack."

Sheppard met her gaze as he pieced together what she was saying. No one asked for any further explanation. "McKay, how long was that thing on?"

"Uh, twelve hours?"

"Well, if this thing is anything like that Wraith device we found, most of the really intense stuff has already stopped, right?"

"Well, it is feasible that this device inspired the Wraith—"

"Rodney!"

"Yes. Very similar. Any lingering effects should dissipate over a relative period of time."

Sheppard turned and spoke softly. "Just what kind of lingering effects are we gonna be dealing with?"

"Priorities. Let these men go." Teyla was commanding.

Sheppard grimaced and Ronon shook his head.

"They were just protecting their lands. They didn't know any better."

Ronon snorted and Lennah leaned into his back, pushing him aside. She moved forward cautiously. Ronon moved with her, step for step.

Her assailants cringed, expecting attack. Their posture was submissive and inoffensive. She arced her hand nearer to the closest one and his head ducked lower to the ground.

She looked over her shoulder at Sheppard. _See?_ Lennah turned back to the group and took a solid stance. "Go home." She spoke firmly and jerked toward them. As she watched the loosing pack scatter and flee. Ronon had jumped forward with her.

Turning to watch them, each person's movement wasn't alone. This one turned and that one balanced it with a response. It was standard in military groups that saw combat. Esprit de corps. But they had been a unit for less than 24 hours.

"Anyone else feel like they're growing fur and claws?" Lennah asked and Sheppard half laughed, half choked. A contemplative silence followed. They could all feel the validity of the concept of that statement.

"So we've taken on this animal spirit?" Ronon asked, most comfortable with the idea. Lennah looked up at him. She still saw that same immature youth she'd painted him as. Now it was tempered with an understanding. But something more. An empathy.

Teyla nodded. "Among my people there are legends of people reverting into animals and animals influencing people in this same manner."

"We have similar stories." Sheppard agreed. "There's even some about kids raised by wolves, pack animals."

"And how did that end?" Teyla looked cautiously up at Sheppard, afraid of the answer.

Lennah cleared her throat in the heavy silence that followed. "We should go see how McKay's doing."

"Yeah." "Agreed." Ronon simply grunted.


	11. On the Same Page, Finally

Some anthropologic stuff. A great deal of man's psychology can be witnessed in the animal kindgom.

-----

Chapter 11

"The dependent group dynamic is remarkable. Each member forms a unique persona in the familiarity of the pack while adopting a secondary façade, if you will, independent of the pack. Pack mentality engenders an intense intimate connection within the pack, whether they're blood kin or complete strangers. The bond is formed almost overnight and is nearly impossible to dissolve for generations. Only intense conflict or exile from the pack could cause a rift."

The scientist finished his summary of data. He went back to the experiment's data with absolute conviction that can only be understood by the habitually obsessive.

Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla, and Lennah stood in the doorway.

"What about McKay?" Lennah hummed for the group ears only. "Where does he fit with us?"

"The facility, here, was shielded so all the, uh, stimulation didn't effect us." McKay piped in, answering Lennah's questions. He gave a cursory glance over his shoulder at the group clustered in the entrance. He did a double take at Lennah's face and snapped his fingers in his own annoying way to get a medic's attention.

Maria motioned her over to a half collapsed corner of the room. The whole group moved around Colare. Maria had to maneuver around bodies to get to her patient. She disregarded the impediment as she had realized the implications involved with their behavior. Maria served in a military hospital and was used to how tact-teams flocked around their wounded.

"I'm sorry." Lennah whispered to Maria as she dabbed disinfectant on a cut on her lip. Maria smiled softly.

"It's awkward, I know." She nodded. "But it's perfectly natural. You'll get used to it quicker than you know."

Lennah snorted, disbelieving, causing Ronon to look sharply at her. She elbowed him in retaliation and he looked bored by its ineffectiveness. Lennah smiled and he grinned. Teyla quietly cleared her throat and they all stilled.

Maria grinned and finished up quickly with a final word to remind Lennah to get a full exam back on base.

McKay and his team cleaned up quickly and they were soon packed up and ready for pick up. Their tardiness affected Woolsey's carefully planned schedule and he'd sent Jumpers after them. The group was accepting of McKay's presence but he was slightly uncomfortable with their strange new need for proximity. He was shortly asleep. They spoke in low voices, somehow able to hear each other perfectly over the white noise of activity.

"What do we tell them?" Lennah asked. McKay's look of discomfort at their contact made her miss being invisible.

"Simple, the effects of the machine are not long lasting." Sheppard's voice was calm and dismissive.

"Agreed?" Teyla looked from Lennah to Ronon.

They all nodded.

People stared. Word got around. McKay felt the attention as reproach for his mistake and postured especially hard. Woolsey was pointedly dismissive of them. Each went to their own rooms under orders for some mandatory "separation preparation". They would have independent sessions with the camp counselor. Scientists wanted to examine the adapted pack mentality, collectively and separately. One of which would be Price.

Lennah felt the loneliness immediately. That, along with the poking and prodding of the nurses ministering to her injuries, made her hyper-sensitive.

She made her way to her room without seeing the people, though there were many she passed on the way. Showering was painful. Even the softest water pressure possible was an agitation on the angry bruises and cuts. Lennah remembered all the injuries she'd accumulated over years of training and that made this seem trivial in comparison. But that didn't make it hurt less now.

It took half an hour to dry and dress even in the simplest of clothes. The pain pills required she eat before taking them but she didn't feel like going anywhere but to bed. So she curled up with a downy comforter and waited.

Sleep was impossible. How had she done it before? How had she made it for years alone like this?

_Get it together, Colare._ She scolded herself. _A few hours of buddy-buddy and you're spoiled for the attention. Get this pity party over and get some sleep. You big baby._

She wiped at an errant tear or two and tried to roll over onto her other side. This inspired a string of curses.

"Hey, take it easy." A voice called. "I haven't learned some of those yet."

Lennah looked up from her back and saw Ronon entering her room. Heaping tray of food.

She flopped her head back on the pillow and exhaled the breath she'd been holding. She felt like she could breathe for the first time in hours but she hadn't noticed until airflow increased.

"Hey." She greeted lamely. Ronon flopped down on the bed at her feet, throwing her a few inches in the air. "Oh, God."

"Sorry." He said softly as he watched her struggle.

"I'd kick you but it would only hurt me more." She laughed with mild desperation. "Stupid."

Ronon looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I can leave..."

"No, it's fine." She said a little too quickly. "It's just... I just—Can I have some of that?"

Ronon smiled at her, his eyes crinkled away. "I dunno." He teased her. "What did Keller say?"

Lennah narrowed her eyes. "Oh, a lot. We talked shop and boys."

His smile faltered a bit. Lennah had no idea what she'd just said or how to fix it. _Deflect._

"Seriously, hun, can I?" she asked softly. "Or are you going to make me wait until Shep and Tey-Tey get here?"

That made him laugh. "Shep and Tey-Tey?"

"You don't like their nicknames?"

"What are you, a toddler?"

"Staying young at heart and keeping your stomach full are the best ways to avoid wrinkles." Lennah struggled to sit up. "So are you gonna share?"

Ronon smiled patronizingly and handed her a lettuce leaf. "Here you go. Enjoy."

Lennah took it and nibbled. "Thanks." She looked up at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes she could manage.

"I'm kidding." He snickered as he produced a second tray and began dividing the food.

Lennah ate in silence. After months of despising this particular person, she now concerned herself with his well being. Before she'd have railed him on his attachment to Keller whether he had brought her food or not. But, now, things were different.

In an extraordinary way. Ronon stood and leaned over Lennah to grab one of the many pillows that littered her bed. He stuffed it behind her and pushed her back on it.

"Let it go." He said. "Whatever it is."

Lennah looked up at him confused.

"You're kinda freaking me out." He sighed as he sat back down. "Your face is very expressive."

"Like, especially so?" Lennah asked, piecing together the various nuances she'd been experiencing herself since returning. She wanted to be well armed with information when she spoke with Price.

Ronon paused, considering. "No, pretty much forever."

"Oh." Lennah frowned.

"I knew you didn't like me before the whole thing in the infirmary."

Lennah slumped behind her knees, trying to hide.

"You don't want that many people to see you." He turned to face her. "Why is that? Normal people feel like everyone's watching them all the time."

Lennah looked down and didn't say anything, tears pricked her eyes. She couldn't even be mad at him for intruding into her room and now he was asking her questions she'd never answer in a million years. And still, beyond all rationality, she felt compelled to answer.

Neither ate another bite as the minutes passed, each trying to outlast the other for patience. Lennah waited for him to give up or loose interest while he remained resolute.

"AHG!!" Lennah finally broke the silence with a measure of her untargeted rage. "You're awful, you know that?"

He smiled with heaps of understanding. "Yeah, it was hard for me too."

Lennah narrowed her eyes. "I wouldn't pick you out as a man of feeling."

"You said different."

"Well, I knew you were listening." Lennah crossed her arms in triumphant defiance. "I figured that if I stoked your flaming ego, I'd shame you into leaving me alone."

"Well, that would have worked," he teased, "on '_normal_' people." He was smug as he scooped a huge shovelful of blue jello and whipped cream into his mouth. He smiled at her as he chewed. Unaware of white cream at the corners of his mouth which bizarrely made the smile seem that much broader.

"You remind me of someone." She said before thinking. Lennah immediately regretted bringing it up. Now she'd have to explain. And that meant talking about Jack.

Ronon swallowed and asked the inevitable impertinent question. "Who?"

Lennah avoided eye contact. "Oh, just someone back at SGC."

Ronon knew he'd hit another gem of a topic. "Who?" He asked again, more insistent this time.

Lennah hugged her knees and shrugged. "Jack O'Neill. Ever meet him?"

He shook his head and looked at her closely. "Who's that?"

"Oh, just some Brigadier General who goes back and forth to D.C. He used to play poker with my dad." Unbidden, a memory of one such game popped into her head. She was two. Dad and Jack were playing one afternoon and she'd climbed into Jack's lap and made herself at home. Mother was scandalized. Jack laughed.

"Good memories then, huh?" he smirked. "I remember skinning game with my father's friends but that don't make me smile like you just did."

Lennah slumped. "Oh my God, you are so immature, you know that?"

"Well, that's what you think." He all but stuck his tongue out.

"Yeah, that's what I think." She laughed at him.

"Well, I'll have to change that." An innocuous statement but it lands like the first drops of water from a leaky dam, soon to be followed by many more of the same.

The atmosphere took on a new cadence. The silence stretched on in discomfort and awkwardness. Ronon frowned into his food and Lennah picked at hers.

_What just happened?_ Lennah thought. _Things have really gotten crazy. Fast. Where's Mom and Dad when you need them?_

As if on cue, the door slid open and Teyla and Sheppard appeared.

"Hey!" Lennah said with something that almost passed as cheer. "I was just wondering where you guys were! Where have you been?"

Teyla smiled. "John had some responsibilities to tend to and I accompanied him."

"Oh, well, that's nice." Lennah smiled. "Requisition more meat and potatoes, John? Chewie, here, is putting a dent in supplies."

She motioned to Ronon who franticly shoveled food in his mouth.

"I'll make a note of that." John smiled but eyed Ronon suspiciously.

"Rodney asked where we would be eating lunch and I invited him to join us here, if that's alright?"

Lennah smiled. Another person who's emotional landmines she could unknowingly detonate. "Great! Fine by me."

The atmosphere and Lennah's bed eased a bit before Rodney showed up. He stood uncomfortably in the doorway when he saw everyone crowding the full size bed. Lennah smiled from under the covers and waved him over. With plenty of coaxing, they finally got him to join them, albeit on the edge of the mattress.

They joked and laughed for an hour or two, lounging around on the bed and on each other. There was a quiet moment when McKay finally relaxed, handing Teyla a pillow. Lennah balked at the reality.

_How extraordinarily odd... And yet,... quite pleasant. Certainly a first. This is surreal._

The sun went down and conversation tapered off as people became more drowsy. The found themselves laughing at the stupidest things. Lennah clenched her sides and choked off laughter, powerless to stop it as Sheppard made a startled face at something Ronon said. Teyla really laughed with McKay.

"Oh my gosh,... he's all –'what the…!!?!?!'... and Ro... is just ...'Wait, what?'" Lennah snorted as she giggled uncontrollably which caused everyone to shake with laughter. The bed bounced with all the movement. "Ow! Ow, ouch! McKay watch your feet, you kicked me." She hissed and curled on her side, still giggling.

"Sorry." Rodney frowned.

"We should go." Teyla offered.

"S'okay." She sighed. "I should probably get some sleep, anyway."

_How's this one going to work? _She thought tiredly but dismissed it as she got comfortable. Lennah hugged a pillow and sighed.

It was pretty quiet, now. She opened an eye to peek around.

Ronon was directly in front of her, laying on his back with on arm behind his head, eyes closed. Sheppard and Teyla were at the other end, leaning on each other drowsily as McKay looked around uncomfortably.

"Well, I have, uh, work—stuff to do, so I'll just—See you all later then." He stammered as he extracted himself from the bed and left.

Lennah pitied his aversion, or incapability, to be as comfortable as the rest of them were. She regretted that he hadn't been with them last night. But, on second thought, the man's bladder would have singled him out to the opposing pack. She wondered if getting him to invite Keller would make it easier for him or harder for... others.

Before she fully nodded off, she remembered she hadn't taken her pain pills. But if she moved, she'd wake everyone up.


	12. Reject and Accept

Last chapter.

----

Chapter 12

"Honestly?" Lennah slumped in her chair as she looked up hesitantly at Price. "It's stifling. I'm stuck with all these people I can't identify with around the clock. But at the same time, it's like someone opened a window and I'm finally getting a breeze. So incredibly frustrating and constricting but inexplicably compelling. It's only a matter of time before I walk in on Shep in his birthday suit or start sharing lingerie with Teyla."

Price smiled and doodled on her pad. She was supposed to be taking notes in a more professional capacity but these two were friends and the level of objectivity fell.

"I find it hard to believe that a few hours getting blasted with radio waves, or whatever, caused all this."

"It didn't." Price smiled.

"What! Then why—"

"You each are partly responsible for the connections established. You wouldn't be so strongly attached if you didn't crave it and nurture it in some way."

Lennah sat up a bit in the chair.

"This is all more of that 'self-examination' speech I gave you a bit of."

Lennah sighed and held her head in her hands. "Of the four of us, who displays the greatest amount of change?"

"You mean of all of us."

"Huh?"

"More than just you were affected. You are one pack that emerged of three. And then, of course, there is the broader community of Atlantis to be considered."

"Really?" Lennah sat fully upright. "Who are the others? Do we all display the same stuff? Who was the most effected of all of us? Were all of us exposed for the same amount of time?"

Price laughed. "Trying to conduct your own investigation?"

"Well," Lennah sighed. "I want to know how long this could last. I want to know the intensity, if it's going to ease off or get worse."

"Most likely get worse, before it gets better. For you specifically. Loners don't often cope well with sudden popularity. And you're such an adorable girl but I think the constant association with either Sheppard or Ronon will keep that in check."

Lennah was thoroughly confused. "I beg your pardon?"

Price laughed. She even wiped tears from her eyes. "Historically, the fewer people who control the fate of the many, the more that power goes to their head."

"Power corrupts. Weren't we talking about popularity?"

Price held her hand up before she continued. "The most 'stand out' of the ruling class often becoming notorious through the years. While the humble and subservient, whom have quietly supported in the background, go uncelebrated. You are one such person, Lennah. You quietly pull strings and set people around you on profitable paths without ever being noticed. Incredibly vain of you."

Lennah looked at the thick folder in front of Price and realize it was the unabridged file of her life's stories, as the military saw it anyway.

"You've made strides that would see other's get medals and recognition and, yet, you shun the spotlight like the plague. Your family moved so much, you fear attachment." Price looked at Lennah over her glasses. "That is very unhealthy. Of all of those affected, you have the most potential to prove violently implosive."

Lennah half-shrugged unsure as to how to react to being called a ticking bomb.

"Lennah, listen to me close, now, dear." Price leaned forward and reached across the desk toward her friend. "Open up. As you've told me today, you feel compelled to share and are incapable of not accepting the sharing imposed on you. Odds are, they'll accept you. If you need a sounding board, I'm available in a non-professional capacity. If you need anything: space, leave of absence, or whatever. You come see me. But you should make a move before they start breaking the groups up."

Lennah caught the scent of a deeper story. "What's happening?"

"One of the groups is struggling." Price shook her head and waved a hand dismissively. "All male group. Contending for dominance. One or more of them might go rogue."

Lennah was reminded of the minor packs of juvenile male lions exiled from their parental groups. These all male packs would try to assert themselves to gain a pride, territories, or females. They'd rape solitary females who wandered too far from the hunting parties. They'd slay any cubs they found.

"We'll try to surgically separate the ties that are unhealthy or interfere with operations. But it's not proving easy. You're not the only one that is volatile."

Lennah had plenty to think about from the various different examinations, physical and mental. She went running on the south pier. There was a stretch of boardwalk that looped around the outermost perimeter of the city. She ran with the sea at her side.

It was a fairly popular place to run and she would wave at the few that passed.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey!" one guy she recognized changed direction and kept pace with her. "You sure you should be running today?"

"What?"

"You got the stuffing knocked out of you yesterday. Don't doctors say you should chill for a few more days?"

Lennah chuckled. "I did gymnastics as a kid. I know my limits."

The guy, whatever his name was, shrugged. "If you say so."

They ran a bit more, Lennah speed up marginally trying to give the guy a clue.

"Hey, I was wondering…"

_Oh, snap. That's never a good sign._

"Would you wanna have lunch with me sometime?"

Lennah wondered how best to go about this. Price had said something about using Shep or Ro in these situations. _Not technically, but still a viable option._

"Uh, actually, things are pretty rough, right now." She said without looking at him. "Everything stable just got thrown in the air. I'm sure you understand."

"Oh, yeah, sure." He faltered a bit. "Well, I let you get back to your workout."

"Yeah, see you around." Lennah sped away as he slowed and finally changed direction. _What was that guy's name? Meyer? Mayer?_

****

Time is relative.

Lennah knew this. She knew she could wait forever. But who would she be on the other side? Herself, still? Or someone with different ways, different motives?

Usually when she ran, things cleared up in her head. She found deeper meanings in herself and in the world. But this time, all she found were more questions.

She slowed to a walk. Which slowed to a wander. She moved without paying attention. Upstairs, mostly. The wind blew stronger thirty stories up. When she was sufficiently raised above where reality was grounded, she found a rail to lean on.

She was elevated some distance above the water on a suspended bridge between two towers, a service way of some kind normal people avoided. Lennah sat with her legs off the edge and held on to the lowest guardrail.

The sun descended, the moons rose. She was tired and her limbs felt loose.

There were vibrations growing louder and more resonant as someone crossed the bridge. By the time Sheppard reached her in the middle of the bridge, Lennah was rattled and could feel the adrenaline of fear.

"How's it going, Colare?" He asked jovially.

Lennah looked up at him, unresponsive to his false mood. He said nothing more as he sat next to her.

In company, leaning over the edge lost its enigmatic appeal. She leaned back from it.

"Who sent you to find me?" She asked, barely heard over the wind.

Sheppard looked out to sea. "Price."

Lennah chuckled. _What friendly, unprofessional interference._ "Did she tell you her professional opinion about my mentality in this situation?"

Sheppard looked at her cautiously. "I'm chief military officer. I know what I have to concerning the safety of the people I look out for."

_That hurt._ Lennah felt tears well up. "Do you think that I'm a threat to those people?" She scoffed but there was little humor behind it.

Sheppard smiled. "Hell, yes. I've seen your record." He looked over his shoulder at her and put his hand on her shoulder. "I know. Better than anyone the toll of the kind of life we lead. I've lost many things along the way. Wife. Home. Lost my father before I was even born."

Lennah felt the truth of that resonate in her chest.

"But life isn't about what you've lost." He sighed. "It's about what you give back. And, kid, you've given a lot to these people here."

Lennah smiled and was embarrassed by her tears. "No way you came up with that by yourself, Shep. Who told you to say that?"

Sheppard feigned offence. "What do you mean 'who told you to say that'? You're brutal, kid. A man can't have an inspired thought once in a while?"

Lennah smirked at him, unmoved. She raised an amused eyebrow.

"Okay!" He slumped. "I may have a small collection of left over fortunes from Wok's Diner."

Lennah burst out laughing. Tensions broken. She now felt the need to hug. Or at least cuddle.

"Come on. Dinner's up." He rose and helped her up. "You sure picked one hell of a spot out here. I might have to send for a Jumper just to make it home by tomorrow."

Lennah punched his shoulder teasingly. She tottered for a second before reaching for the rails. Sheppard wrapped an arm around her shoulders and helped her forward.

"You know," he started, "you are one of those people I look out for."

She felt like crying again so she punched his ribs. He squeezed her in reply.

The pair raced to the Mess Hall and burst laughing into the crowded room.

"I won." Lennah smirked.

"No, way. I totally beat you." Sheppard retaliated coolly.

"Okay, I can let you think you won." She sighed, picking up a plate.

Sheppard shook his head and bit on a carrot. "Oh, hey, look at that!" He cried and Lennah fell for it, allowing him to grab food off her plate and smack her upside the back of her head. "Gotcha."

Lennah shook her head and laughed at herself. "Yeah, you did." She said over-patronizing him. "Good job."

She managed to get something on her plate and crossed to where Ronon and Teyla sat with the leftovers of their meal. They passed right by the table where she occasionally sat. Price smiled up at her. Lennah paused and shared the smile, giving Price a soft nod of thanks.

Fin.

----

Currently working on the finishing touches to part II.


End file.
